MizKCreations

Break Time

2010-11-02T07:12:00.000-05:00

I've been blogging for about 5 years now. I can honestly say it has been, since day one, something I've felt passionate about-even when there was no one reading. I loved the multi-media aspect of journaling and having a personal forum to share my thoughts and feelings.

But I'm tired. I've been online intensively and the push to go faster and further is huge in the circles I became a part of. I still do my own work, but I've also happily returned to the 8-5 (for now) and need a deep breather. I want to use my hands, make art, travel and enjoy.

I've also broken up with Twitter. I found that increasingly I was getting what I wanted/needed from Facebook (ironic given my total hatred 2 years back).

So bear with me. I'm not closing shop. I'm simply takin' a break.

Much love,
Kelly

Utterly Alone (NOT a Depressing Tale...)

2010-09-29T12:43:00.000-05:00

My online buddy, fellow Fish and one of my esteemed writing heroes and I are jogging a parallel, painfully confusing path that is so universal it hardly warrants mentioning. And yet, if it is a struggle for you, it can be all-consuming. Since it is universal, it means many of us are wrestling with it.

Loneliness.

This beasty can nag even when you are coupled, at a gathering or surrounded by loving, generous friends.

So confused am I as to how to manage my own non-coupled self (I've been in committed, co-habitating relationships for 27 out of 30 years!) that I started my first real piece of fiction ever (not unless you count the teenaged, self-conscious love story I wrote for high school English class). It is sci-fi, a world where I find myself with no companions or fellow humans, but with animals and a never ending supply of goods, mysteriously replenished by unseen forces. Money? Not needed. Paid employment? Not necessary.

Oh. In case you are wondering, in this story, I can neither off, nor numb myself. It just won't work in this fantasy scenario. I know myself too well.

After I slept for awhile, and got a dog, or two, and gorged a bit on great food, I'm confident I'd get bored and start looking for the perfect, little place (or raw unfinished space-I'd get to choose freely!) that would allow me to feed my gardening fetish.

Then what...????? (At least I wouldn't be fighting off zombies).

What would matter? Would writing? Would art? Do we do it for the sharing or for the doing? And if it is for the doing would we still actually want to if we were the only ones to see it?

Obviously, my life is never going to be like this. I've got great family and friends. But it has been a good exercise to explore what type of meaning my life would have if I never, ever found romantic love again...

I am fascinated as I patiently "watch" how I would handle A-L-O-N-E when the "what the F&*K!" wore off. Just repeatedly pondering this hasn't been as helpful as actually writing it down.

Is life worth living if there is no one to observe any of it with you? What do you think?

Pretty

2010-09-14T11:23:00.000-05:00

The Challenge of Opposing Truths

2010-09-08T09:57:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we fall in love before all of the information is in.

Actually, that's usually how we fall in love. We fall in love with the best parts of someone, with our eyes squeezed shut, with our own garbage standing right in front of us or with the other person saying "you do NOT want to do this!" and, being the fallible little beings we are, we ignore it all. Our hearts get wrapped up in the other. And, once wrapped, we find it difficult to accept all of those things we should have paid attention to up front.

Despite all of this, we sometimes fall for someone who is good for us, enjoyable to us, fulfills us so much that we cannot extricate ourselves despite THE ISSUE(S).

Oh. We try. Over and over again. But it is no good because either the scale tips severely back and forth (very very good to very very bad) or it is balanced just enough in favor of the relationship that not being involved is more painful than being involved. There are so many good things...

It can become very easy to start blaming yourself (or feeling that your friends and family are blaming you) for a lack of willpower at this point. Or blaming the other for not having the willpower for you. To. Just. Walk. Away.

If only life and love were that simple. When you are looking deeply, soulfully into the eyes of someone you are so connected with (or laughing maniacally over something hysterical you just read), walking away feels absurd.

Luckily for me I have a sage, an oracle, a guru, a spiritual director all tied up in my therapist. God love her. I told her last night that she got therapist bonus points and could advance to the next level. Because she challenged me on this self-blame, love addiction theory. And said,

How is this any different than a woman who falls in love with a great, great man only to discover later that he doesn't want children...and she really does? Or falling deeply in love with someone and connecting with them on social issues and literature and nature and passion...only to find they don't believe in God and have no desire to deepen a spiritual connection?

And, while these are huge impasses and very painful stuff, no one in these scenarios is to blame. Life is full of really tough choices and dilemmas. That's just the way life is.

I don't have an answer. I'm not sure either of us will ever feel fully resolved. But I'm incredibly grateful to have met someone with whom I have such a deep and abiding respect and love for and who loves me in return. Today's agenda? Nothing more than gratitude.

Expanding...

2010-09-03T14:24:00.000-05:00

I am expanding.

Well not like that. Actually, like "that" I've shrunk a bit. The two may or may not be related, but I recognize a hunger in me that has nothing to do with food. And no, I have not read the much heralded, Oprah-anointed Women and Food by Geneen Roth , but I did read her Feeding the Hungry Heart in my 20's.

I do believe 90% of our hunger for more: food, sex, relationship, shoes, chotchke has something to do with our understanding that we have a hunger and craving for a need that simply cannot be fully met. We have a cavernous pit of longing and we are trying to fill it with something, anything. It's akin to tossing golf balls into the ocean in an attempt to make a difference somehow.

It's been a pretty powerful few months for me. A serious of books have landed in my lap, no doubt for a purpose. I am calmed and in an intense period of emotional and spiritual learning and growth. The Restless Heart changed my life significantly. Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart is teaching me to reframe everything and An Altar in the World guided me safely and lyrically back to where I'd been in the past. Finally, Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years reminded me of what my life could look like and provided me with my newest mantra:

I am a tree in the story of a forest.

i.e. it isn't all about me, the tree. There's more going on than my little pea-brain human self can envision.

I've experienced lots of change and challenges. I didn't want ANY of it. I wanted to keep deluding myself that I was living a perfect life. Anyone else, who knew the whole story, would see that it was swiss cheese. Since that time I've become more patient (though one would hardly call me "patient" exactly), more loving, more forgiving and far more appreciative of what I do have.

I know now I don't know the story and I can't and won't until I live as long as I do and have as broad a view as possible of the whole big story-and not just mine. I know I touch and have been touched (no giggling) by many people, that my friends and family are of equal importance as a partner and that I'm an ok sort of person, flawed as I am.

Mostly I just feel centered. I hope you do too. If not, grab one of those books. Seriously. And if you are centered, read one anyway. They are that good.

Photo: via Creative Commons license, courtesy King of Herrings.

Beautiful

2010-08-26T14:19:00.002-05:00

I found Rosie Thomas via Last.fm:

Killer YouTube PlayList

2010-08-23T12:36:00.003-05:00

Sure. We all think we have the best musical taste, eh? All I can say is this is a group of songs from a whole host of sources that move me either lyrically or through the music alone. Thanks to Erica Swanson for a few. Keep an eye on her blog for great writing, great music and great design!

Most of these are pretty low key and lovely:

kd lang's version of Hallelujah

Michelle Featherstone "I'm There Too"

Melody Gardot "Worrisome Heart"

Grace Potter & Nocturnals White Rabbit

Roison Murphy "If We're in Love" (and anything by her live)

Cinematic Orchestra "To Build a Home" (stunning)

Dinah Washington & Max Richter "This Earth"

Skunk Anasie "Squander"

David Gray "Draw the Line"

St. Vincent "Paris is Burning"

Epiphany

2010-08-23T12:29:00.001-05:00

[This has been one of my most heartily received posts, both on the other blog and on Twitter/Facebook. I'm reprinting it here because here is where it belongs but I'm leaving it there because that's where comments are.]

Relationships are hard on me. But, I finally think it is fair to say, they've been harder still on my ex-partners. When you continue to hear the same things from people you've loved and lost, you gotta wake up some time. Unfortunately, waking up isn't always clear and easy.

Folks. I woke up this week. I'm flooded by what I've discovered and it has freed me in a way that isn't easy to express because I suspect that I'm in a small, lucky, sometimes cursed group of people.

I credit this book, The Restless Heart: Finding Our Spiritual Home in Times of Loneliness, for what may be one of the most pivotal changes in my life. It is the section on "restlessness" as a type of loneliness where I recognized me. I can't copy it all here so I'll do my best to summarize an eloquent writer's words:

Many or most of us suffer from a type of soulful loneliness, even when we are deeply loved, because we have felt a fully evolved, higher level of love via spirit. We've been "kissed by God" and in most of us there is a memory of this that causes all other love to pale in comparison. (Page 54 of the hard cover).

My sister and I have what we call the "love dream". Unlike a sex dream, the love dream (with a stranger or a friend or a celebrity-the object is not important) leaves you bereft upon awakening. I've been blessed/troubled with these my whole life (because this is a serious post I will wait til another time to amuse you with the objects of my affection). I've laid in bed and cried because I could not reach that ethereal partner. As in-love as I've been, except in a few fleeting moments of physical intimacy, I've never experienced said "love dream" in reality.

So. You are my earthbound love interest. Poor you.

You simply cannot compare. Sorry. I'll beg, cajole, nag, cry, grovel, yell, scream, pout, woo, rationalize, educate you to DEATH trying to get you to conform in some way to this level of love I've experienced.

And you just can't. And you get exhausted and defeated because

It is never enough.

If I've heard it once, I've heard it 1000 times in variations.You can never do enough to please me.

When I read Father Rolheiser's words, I wept copious tears. When I read them aloud to one of my objects, I wept again. I can barely keep from weeping now, frankly.

THIS is why I feel let down. THIS is why I suffer chronic loneliness. THIS is why I'm constantly seeking the romantic love of a lifetime...and why I can never really find it except in a spiritual capacity within myself.

I think some of us have a stronger memory of our love relationship with God/spirit/Universe. We can still feel it on a deeper level than others. This is me. I've been labeled a sensualist and an empath and once wrote Diane Ackerman about this sense of loneliness which she graciously responded to with a "yes", she feels it too.

I feel free. I feel blessed. I feel a sense of understanding and acceptance I've never felt before. I've released the fantasy while retaining hope of a strong, healthy, committed human relationship and recommitted to focusing on my self and my spiritual life. Have you been "kissed by God"?

In A Mood...

2010-08-22T16:57:00.002-05:00

...and I've missed Ani (she's particularly impish in this one):

Serendipity, Love and Therapy

2010-08-19T13:31:00.001-05:00

If you are blessed to have a therapist like I have in the elf, you could never completely let them go It has been awhile since I saw her, but post-birthday I wanted a check-in/check-up. See, I'm in a complicated relationship. That might be an oxymoron (like dysfunctional family) but this is the meaty juicy kind of love that fills you up so much that you cannot let it go despite it having some significant barriers to what you want and think love should look like. I needed to mull over words like "codependence, love addiction, attachment hunger" and more.

Luckily for me, my therapist prefers words like "bullshit" and "fuck".

When I walked in, she had a book by her that I owned and loved (Cries of the Spirit in case you are interested). She mentioned stumbling on a piece she was sharing with someone and we settled into therapy and didn't discuss further...right away.

About halfway through our examination of the current status of said relationship, she said "Hmmm. Let me read you this piece and see if it resonates." (When she say stuff like this, you can be sure it will).
And it did. Here it is for you. Print it off. Mine is now on my fridge where all important things reside.

Much love,
Kelly

Our Passion for Justice - Carter Heyward

Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling, not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being "drawn toward". Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies [emphasis mine].

Love creates righteousness, or justice, here on earth. To make love is to make justice. As advocates and activists for justice know, loving involves struggles, resistance, risk. People working today on behalf of women, blacks, lesbians and gay men, the aging, the poor in this country and elsewhere know that making justice is not a warm fuzzy experience. I think also that sexual lovers and good friends know that the most compelling relationships demand hard work, patience, and a willingness to endure tensions and anxiety in creating mutually empowering bonds.

For this reason, loving involves commitment. We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen. We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called "love". Love is a choice-not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity- a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is a choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh.

This beautiful, very human photo is by Mozinos and Flickr via Creative Commons.

Must See Movies and One Decent Book

2010-06-30T08:13:00.000-05:00

Movies:

Off the Map. Acting is about a B- at some points, but story an A+.

Snow Cake. Sigourney, Alan Rickman, Carrie Ann Moss and a girl who is really reminiscent of Ally Sheedy in the Breakfast Club. Lovely little film.

Good Dick. NOT for everyone. Centers a bit around porn (but never really shows any). However, it is a sweet story with decent acting.

Book:

An Italian Affair. If I EVER find a gal like her Italian lover, I'll be done for. Sweet, saucy, and will inspire you to travel and do some seriously wicked skinny dipping. And a memoir to boot.

Sunday Morning browsing...

2010-05-02T10:23:00.001-05:00

This week I'm thinking about what commitment means (my own), I got my hand's dirty, I'm revisiting "the cube" and the anxiety/boredom it induces, reading Marriage and Other Acts of Charity, Lit, and Conscious Loving and pondering art and the garden again.

I've fallen in love with Reclaimed Space (see above). Perhaps one day I'll build one!

Trips with M coming soon: Bowling Green next weekend for a house concert at T&C's great space and 3 days in St. Louis and the Missouri Botanical Garden in an artsy storefront rental we found here.

My Sunday morning is peaceful and loving. What more could you ask? I hope yours is as well.

Airports and Comfort

2010-04-15T08:36:00.001-05:00

Photo via Tiny House Design and Dezeen.

More tiny spaces! Blame Tiny House Design, a site I adore (I get updates delivered to my email which I rarely do). These tiny cubes (and there are more on Dezeen) are rented by the hour in spaces like airports, bus terminals, event gatherings (can you say SXSW in its ridiculously exhausting Austin Convention Center?), etc. Love the idea, esp for folks stranded during weather season, BUT I have this question:

Given flight delays and cancellations and mother nature and terror-scares, why do airport seating areas all have ridiculously uncomfortable chairs that end in the middle of your back (lower if you are tall) as opposed to something you might actually doze in? It isn't as if we go to airports to loiter or that the homeless will gather there. A nice recliner or at least something wing-back style would be lovely and so much less insulting.

Another One!

2010-03-28T11:02:00.000-05:00

From Apartment Therapy. Here.

Ache, Ache...

2010-03-27T13:29:00.001-05:00

How I long for a tiny little space like this to be all my own...You can read about it on the ever-awesome Design Sponge here.

TOO MUCH Good TV

2010-03-22T10:33:00.001-05:00

I have a confession. I don't have room on my DVR to record everything I want on tv right now. It isn't just that it is full perpetually (it is), but that I have recording conflicts all over the place because there's so much good stuff at the same time. What I'm watching:

The Good Wife (brilliant writing/acting, reminds me of Damages a bit with the HOTTEST woman on TV)
Life (if you loved Planet Earth or Blue Planet, check this out)
Parenthood. Lauren Graham and Peter Krause. What can I say?
Grey's Anatomy: Slightly redeemed this year. PLEASE take Kathryn Heigl away
Flash Forward. Decent sci-fi writing and concept, TERRIBLE ACTING. Still worth it.
American Idol (I've missed this a couple of times. Girls clearly winning, but Lilly Scott's early dismissal ruined my enthusiasm)
Project Runway (only my second season watching this. I don't know squat about high fashion and always pick the wrong design, but love watching them work!)
Shear Genius (same as above)
Survivor: Heroes vs. Villians (this isn't crucial but it is DVR'd)
The Big Bang Theory (I mean seriously. Who doesn't love Sheldon? Every Star Wars/Trek/LOR geek now has a mascot!)

Coming Up (NO ROOM)

Celebrity Apprentice (Sharon Osborne and Cyndi Lauper are my reasons to watch)
The Antonio Project (LOVED his designs on Design Star)

I've moved...

2010-02-11T08:42:00.001-05:00

And I'm not coming back here. I don't think.

My new Wordpress blog is set up and, with it, a more integrated "me". Wordpress draws far more traffic than blogger and allows for an actual site feel with pages plus other customization. I'm pretty proud to have it finally up and running.

The people I most admire and follow online have one site and let it all hang out there, for the world (and, uhm, clients) to see. As I advocate for authenticity, it felt inauthentic to be in two different places.

What I have done, for those of you who have ZERO interest in the business posts, is set up a Personal page where the more personal, pop culture, fun stuff will go.

Plus there is always the newsletter which has a sidebar full of goodies on design, journaling, movies, the whole enchilada.

I still get good traffic here (mostly, still, because of Rock the Casbah) so the blog won't disappear, but over time I will be moving the posts over to the new site as well. A laborious process!

Thank you friends and colleagues and strangers for supporting this blog so consistently over the past 4 years!

Many hugs,
Kelly

Color I Adore

2010-01-24T16:43:00.001-05:00

From Apartment Therapy's Small Cool 2009 competition. I LOVE the color of this kitchen and don't wanna lose it!

Thank you Keri Smith

2010-01-23T18:46:00.001-05:00

Via Keri Smith (author of the above is Hermann Hesse, translated by James Wright). Beautiful and clearly Keri does the same photos of pages with her camera phone that I am prone to.

Quick Update

2010-01-10T10:15:00.002-05:00

Ok, folks, the posts here have been getting more infrequent and there are several (good) reasons why:

1. Client work is up. I am OVERJOYED to announce that my idol and very popular blogger and coach, Jeannette Maw (Good Vibe Coach), is my newest client!!!! A former client from Australia has returned

2. My work is beginning to get noticed among people I admire and whose work I follow. I'll be interviewed shortly on a popular online writer's site whom I adore. I've got a book that is coming along that she wants to discuss.

3. I've started yet another blog which is gathering quite a large following which I hope to turn into a book at the end of the year (you can see it here but you'll know more about me that I really want you to).

4. I've gained real clarity in my work and my business blog which, for financial reasons, will be the focus of 2010. I know what I want to write about and do with it, finally. I was on the right path but I veered a bit. I'm back on it, encouraging business people to be Authentic, do work that is Relevant and grow their communities Organically. It ain't just about the money baby and I love Jeannette so much because she totally gets this!

I'll still pop in from time to time (can't help but share the culture stuff) and M is taking over The Truth is Stranger blog and making it her own soon. I hope there will be enough of me to keep you interested elsewhere and I will never let this blog completely go (once I stop blogging/writing for others I'll be able to devote more time to this).

2010 is already shaping up to be my best year in a long time. My dream of partnering with a loved one in the work world has come true. My deliberate creation work has certainly already had an impact. I hope you are happy and healthy whoever and wherever you are!

The Absolute BEST Visual Films (So Far...)

2010-01-05T15:32:00.001-05:00

I came across this post by the awesome, uber intelligent Keri Smith today and promptly add Stalker to my Netflix queue. I totally agree with this:

"My point in talking about this is to say that I felt distinctly that in some ways it is not necessary for me to understand what the artist meant, and possibly in my own way I understand it completely."

Some of these films would have been a wash if not for the profound visuals. The visuals are absolutely enough. Not all are fiction. Andy Goldsworthy's Rivers and Tides is breathless (cold) beauty. Some are slow and meditative like the first. Others are simply weird. I hope I can come up with enough pithy phrases to describe them all. There are more that I've forgotten, I'm sure. If I add I'll let you know. I REALLY want to know which you love.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring. This movie is almost painfully beautiful. It is quiet. It is lovely. It defies explanation.

Oscar and Lucinda. Honestly, I don't remember much about this movie except for how

What Dreams May Come. NOT a great movie, but the most hopeful vision of heaven I've ever seen (who doesn't hope our dogs come bounding up to greet us?). Dark and glorious at once.

Bright Star. BFF Steph thought this was like watching paint dry, but if you love gardening like I do, it almost feels fragrant. Monet comes to mind.

Amelie. The queen muthah for me. I LOVE THIS MOVIE. It has not a shmarmy, nor cynical bone in its body. Funny, sweet, French.

City of Lost Children. Hard to believe that the same director who directed Amelie could do this twisted, steampunk riddled film. But he did. And it is glorious!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. For me this movie is all about the young ninja heading off with her lover in the cave. Wow! What a cave. There are some spectacular moments in this movie and also in House of Flying Daggers. Both worth your time.

Moulin Rouge. Agreed. It makes me dizzy to watch too. But it is hard to argue with Baz Luhrmann (Strictly Ballroom, Romeo + Juliet) and his ability to make a dazzling movie. Even if it makes you want to lose your lunch. This one has a rockin' soundtrack.

Jeremiah Johnson. I have a soft spot for this '70's flick. My dad loves it and I watched it with him a time or two growing up. Very little dialogue, lots of horseback riding in blinding, snowy weather. Robert Redford, ruggedly beautiful, back in the day. Famous director. Do you know who?

Rivers and Tides. This movie begs so many questions about what compels someone to make art, especially art that will be washed away or will melt in days or moments. But while you are asking yourself those questions, prepare to be captivated by watching the simple beauty of Andy manipulating nature.

Planet Earth. Come on! This movie rewrote the book on those Disney nature films we used to have to sit through at the drive-in (because our parents liked them). Sigourney Weaver is a definite add in this version.

(I know, there are no Tim Burton films here. I'm thinking...)

Another Manifestation Story

2009-12-30T20:44:00.001-05:00

Have I mentioned that I work in a small city ER? I don't do patient care, though I am involved. I work 2-12 hour shifts and (though I hate to put this energy out there), I hate it. 12 hours is LONG even if it is just 2 days (45 min drive each way also), hospitals are a pit of negativity (the worst I've ever encountered), I sit for a very long time, there are a lot of distracting noises and I don't have squat in common with most of my co-workers. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

So, the other day I sat outside in the wee hours with my cup of coffee (I have some immunity to the cold) and decided that, JUST AS AN EXPERIMENT, I was going to intend to have a great day: my favorite laid back doc would be working, we'd be steady but not overwhelmed, I'd enjoy my co-workers, the "machine that goes ping" would not bother me and that it would be one of my best work days ever.

I SWORE THAT I WOULD NOT LET CYNICISM ENTER MY MIND. I had the thought and then I just refused to think about work any more.

It wasn't until about 10am on that day that I realized I felt rested, good even. My favorite doc (who I hadn't worked with in weeks) was coming in for part of my shift, at about 2pm we'd died down to just a few patients and everyone seemed to be getting along. I even agreed to pick up 4 extra hours (making it a 16 hour shift!) that evening, which I rarely do.

Most interestingly, I got into a series of really great conversations with the few "cool kids" (30-somethings, tattooed, not conservative, hip) who I rarely work with and who were ALL working that evening together. Conversations about music and politics and sexuality that went on for most of the evening, resulted in a request to Facebook friend each other and ended in a hug at the end of my shift...

I mean, come on. I had never had a better day at work.

We were so slow I didn't have to stay over long, just an hour. I had time to go get my iPhone at the AT&T store...the phone where they run a credit check and, if you fail, you get charged up to $1200 deposit. A series of unfortunate events have cooked my credit thoroughly (big shopping and trips not among them) and I had been sad for days after realizing I would likely not be able to get said dream phone that was to be my Christmas gift from Dad.

Credit check? Yes. But no deposit, no hassle. Hot little phone in my hand in 15 minutes.

Why not try it? I dare you...! Then report back here.

(photo above taken with new iPhone using the ShakeItPhoto! app)

What I Learned This Year...

2009-12-24T12:32:00.002-05:00

I'm resting and cuddling with kitties before packing the rest of my gifts to head to Bowling Green to spend time with the family. I'm filled with some joy, some longing and of course, this time of year leads to reflection of all sorts. It was a pivotal year. I don't say that lightly. It took 2008 and expanded on it. I am confident 2010 is going to be something completely unexpected in the best of ways. So, what learnings have come my way that I want to share?

I learned, again, that love is complicated and that the best thing you can do for it is to give it room to breathe. I will have to continue learning this as I'm a whirling dervish in that arena as well, but I am definitely growing.

I learned that life has way more opportunity for you than your little pea brain can imagine and that if you continue to say "yes!", focus on kindness and giving and quality, good things will arrive that will surprise the hell out of you.

I learned once, and for all, that I suck at housekeeping AND, unfortunately, that my joy is significantly impacted by having a clean house. 2010 will see the dawning of a housekeeper for part of the time.

I learned that I do have an addiction and that is sleep. It is not healthy. I want it too much. It does everything that any other addiction does. This year I want to get out more and experience many of the things I've put on hold for so long now.

I learned, finally, that the misery I find in traditional work does not make me a failure, that I should have pursued harder the many dreams I had for years of working for myself. I'm different, but not flawed. The more I stepped towards that dream, the more the universe has said "yes".

I've learned I am deeply loved and deeply loving. When I move past the addiction of sleep, there are so many lovely people waiting to greet me as friends. I care for them deeply in my heart but I have to show up and do the work of being a friend.

Finally, I learned that I'm not defined by my past, that truly awful choices made on my part do not mean I'm not worthy of a lovely, healthy life filled with the kind of heart-bursting gratitude I once had. I'm ready to reclaim what we all deserve: contentment.

I wish you all incredibly happy holidays where we let go of the pettiness and discomfort and embrace the love. See you in 2010!

Photo via Creative Commons license by Eddi.

Top 9 of 2009 from The Business Blog

2009-12-11T14:34:00.003-05:00

Don't you love the year end wrap up posts? If I was off, I'd sit down with a big plate of candy or something and just poke around at all of these "best of" lists. In the year end spirit, here are my most read blogs of 2009:

For Information:
Naomi Dunford's IttyBiz
Lisa's YouTube Channel
Scott Stratten's Un-marketing

For Inspiration:
Chris Guillebeau's The Art of Non-conformity
Danielle LaPorte's White Hot Truth
Kelly Diels' Cleavage

For Joy Juice:
Cute Overload
The Bloggess
My Milk Toof (see photo above)

Thanks to all of the dreamers, writers, artists, take no prisoner fire starters, snort milk out my nose, make me trickle tears of sentimentality online creators who entertained, informed or lit me up me this year.

Look out 2010!

Check out my clients' blogs/sites as well. Thanks to their support, this was my best year yet!
The Virtual Legal Assistant
Ratio7
My Small Business Mentor
Raw Foodini
Renegade CEO's
Boomerang Presentations
InVision Projects

Adding to My NYC Itinerary...

2009-12-09T13:39:00.003-05:00

Burn the Floor! Yeah, baby!

Just because...

2009-12-09T13:36:00.001-05:00

3-NO! 4 Reasons to Be VERY VERY Happy!

2009-12-07T16:32:00.002-05:00

3 4 FABULOUS writers and ladies, Anne Lamott, Elizabeth Gilbert, Barbara Kingsolver and Gretchen Rubin all have books available for pre-order on Amazon.com!

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the life changing Eat, Pray, Love (what woman HASN'T read this book? Why? You can buy it used for 1 penny!) has a new book being released called Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage. I'm anxious to read and share it. If you know a commitment phobe, perhaps this is the book for them?

Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies, Plan B and many more has a new novel coming out, Imperfect Birds (is this a play on her seminal book on writing "Bird by Bird"? I don't know).

One author review says of Lamott's new book "Heartbreaking and delightful, moving and hopeful, Imperfect Birds reminds us how our children are connected to and independent of us, and that no matter how difficult our struggle is with them, love underlies it all and saves us. This novel captures the deepest, purest, most terrifying experience of parents fearing for their children. With great insight and humor, Anne Lamott shows us what it means these dangerous days to be a parent, what it means to be a child, and what it means to be a family."
-David Sheff, author of Beautiful Boy

Oy vey! Must read!

Amazon just recommended Barbara Kingsolver's new novel which I didn't know was out (I SUCK) and that is about the Kahlo/Trotsky household. Good lord! I can't believe I missed news of this. Lacuna was released November 3. Once I am done with Sea Glass (I will confess to being snobby over Anita Shreve AND enjoying this book) and The Dogs of Bedlam Farm I am on to that.

Finally, Gretchen Rubin, author of the fantastic blog The Happiness Project has a book by the same title. I'm all for bloggers turned published authors (well, she was already published before...but still). Gretchen spent a year trying to follow every piece of happiness advice she could find and shares the results. The subtitle of the book is Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun.

Winter is fast approaching (M, my heroine, who after a fiasco with my bumped up green car drove me to work in disastrous weather!) so it is the perfect time to pre-order or pick up at the library, heat up your rice sock, put on flannel jammies and settle in to read with a cup of tea.

My Newest Venture

2009-12-04T13:04:00.002-05:00

In 2010, I'll be building my problogging business for me and moving away from so much writing for others. As I've been working for myself these past 18 months, I realize what I love MOST and could do all day long is my own writing and blogging. To this end, I have a new niche site:

Living Alone After Divorce.

Not much going on there (and surprisingly huge traffic-mostly from the Middle East??? Why? I know not.), but I hope to make it a site for those folks, like me, who were/are Bambi on ice when it comes to living alone for the first time.

Spread the word as appropriate!

By the way, reading a Great Book! Generosity by Richard Powers. A novel about the discovery of the happiness gene.

Cream Cheese and other Assorted Reasons to LOVE the Holidays!

2009-11-26T08:49:00.001-05:00

I'll admit it. I've struggled with holiday cheer in the last few years. I LOVE Christmas (mostly for the color and the lights, though I don't care for colored lights) and losing that sense of joy around the holidays has been hard. My already incredibly tiny family shrank (shrunk?) even further and it is hard to celebrate with a house full of two when you are feeling guilty that the other one (my son) doesn't have a "real family" to celebrate with. These are the times of divorce and I know we are not alone in our smallness.

But today is Thanksgiving and I'm working in a community hospital ER (ok, I'm writing this so working might be a stretch) with people I genuinely like and care about. There is a ton of food (it's 838am and I've already had pumpkin bread and I'm eating cream cheese stuffed Skyline chili dip), people are looking at the paper for their Black Friday ads and there is, in fact, a sense of merriment.

I just got my Christmas decorations packed back up from LAST Christmas about 3 months ago (shameful) and I may not pull them back down again. But regardless, I'm feeling joyful. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in a Box from Kroger and 2012 with Ryan and M. Then Ryan will be here for the rest of the weekend and we'll gorge on movies and junk. Old clients have popped back up, existing clients are warm and wonderful, I am blessed with awesome friends and family and I have an overall sense of peace. If you are reading this, I hope you have it too.

Tim Burton and the NY MoMA!

2009-11-23T19:49:00.000-05:00

Even if I have to walk and sleep on the street, I've got to get there. It opened yesterday and ends April 26.

Is Health Care Coming? Barack at the Great Wall of China

2009-11-22T08:11:00.001-05:00

I suppose the people fighting health care legislation are all either insured already, have never faced being uninsurable, forget that most of our financial support has gone to bailing out large corporations (not people), and that every other industrialized nation on the planet has some type of health care option for its citizens. They consider that an act of compassion (via a Dubai citizen). Regardless, it passed a major hurdle yesterday thanks to this magnificent man.

Did George W. ever even LOOK presidential? I can't remember that day.

Thought for Today

2009-11-21T16:12:00.000-05:00

“When one loves, one does not calculate.”

Thank you to Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project for pointing me to this quote from St. Therese of Lisieux.

Not much more to add to that, is there?

Newsy Newsletter/E-zine Coming Soon!

2009-11-20T17:21:00.000-05:00

Some of you received an email invite to my upcoming newsletter. Look to the right and you will see a new sign-up form (all of this setup and design was tremendously easy...and fun! The newsletter runs off Mail Chimp which is free if you have less than 500 subscribers and there will be a link on the site if you want to try it yourself).

Mostly I want to use the newsletter to inspire others. I'm all over the Web, see and read a lot of really awesome stuff, some for work, some simply because I love it and I do so love to share the juicy goodness that I find. I get twice as many readers here as I do on the business blog so it will be a tricky businesses to keep both groups happy...but I'm going to try.

It won't be annoying or long or terribly frequent. Probably once a month, maybe twice. Easy to unsubscribe. I think it will be juicy, but hey, it's one of my babies so I would...

Try it for an issue or two. If you don't like, unsubscribe. No harm done, eh?

Have a lovely weekend. I'll be hanging with my peeps in the ER!

Zooming Right Along...

2009-11-18T15:17:00.000-05:00

I am not having any Jack Handy "deep thoughts" today. But I came across this photo and had to throw it up on the blog. Of course it is from Design Sponge and I do not consume enough to be able to do this but I certainly know a person or two who does and I thought it was hot.

Bright Star, a lovely, lyrical (and some would say slow like my friend Steph-oh! SHE'S not slow, but thought the movie was) movie about John Keats and his love affair with Fanny Braun is worth your time if you love a costume drama. It is NOT for your average viewer (a few people were yawning massively), but if the visuals are important to you in a film, I recommend it. I imagine heaven looks a bit like some of the English gardens in this film.

I started reading Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison. I don't recommend it. The author is Augusten Burrough's older brother who chronicles his life with Asberger's syndrome. And I do mean chronicles. There is little flow to this book, just anecdote after anecdote. I realize that could be because of the author's unique vision, but it still made for a pretty boring read. Stick with Burroughs...

I have been rocking out to a song that's been out awhile: Paolo Nutini's "New Shoes". It just now started getting local radio play and I heard the words. Not too many truly happy songs that don't sound sappy. This one is just plain fun. Definitely going on my Motivate Me! iPod playlist.

Anything new with you?

A couple of things

2009-11-03T17:08:00.004-05:00

Post about Patti Smith here. Clearly I was affected. See next line.

A couple of decent poems here and here.

Mad Men is absolutely tearing me to pieces. If you haven't watched, get the DVD's and catch up this winter! Flash Forward is good too (NOTHING on television compares to Mad Men, though. Everything seems amateur in comparison).

OMG! A Classic "Tool"

2009-11-01T14:12:00.003-05:00

When Ryan was a teenager, he taught me the word "tool". I save the word "tool" because I think it is so special and fantastic. Per Ryan's definition a "tool is generally male, the guy who thinks he's funny but no one else does, the guy every one tries to get away from but he never picks up on their not-so-subtle clues". A tool differs from an asshole only slightly but there is a slimy quality about the tool that the asshole may not have (after all My Russell Crowe and Colin Farrell have both been referred to as assholes. I don't think they are tools).

I work with a real tool. I MEAN CLASSIC. He is an ex-Marine. He is the guy that has so many nervous tics and subtle (or not so) issues that when he had a minor blow up at work, everyone was afraid of what was in his backpack. He goes up to all men and shakes their hand, looks them in the eye and says "I'm a tool, nice to meet you." (He really gives his name which of course, I cannot) as they stand there going "why are you talking to me?".

You can't say anything to him without him getting painfully defensive and agitated so constructive criticism is out of the question. He lies chronically, takes excessive lunches and is always schmoozing with someone. He has a cruel streak and his sexism is dripping out of each pore. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Why do these people last in any business? Why do we cower to these kinds of people who cause our whole culture to stink? FIRE THE TOOLS OF THE WORLD or threaten them with therapy.

End of rant (I'm working with the tool today. It was this or have a conniption fit.

Singing High Praises: The Bloggess

2009-11-01T12:01:00.010-05:00

NOT me! Her.

SO:

I started off the day like this:

(missed alarm so overslept, spilled coffee down my shirt, unexpected ice on windows, temporary crown fell out again and there was FOG the whole way to work so I had to drive 40 for 1/2 of my 45 miles, got to hospital, ER full, cover front where I actually TOUCH everyone who says they think they have swine flu, and then the creepy volunteer wants to sit by me and do nothing...you get the picture, right?)

Anyone who can get me to laugh out loud from cyberspace, repeatedly, when I haven't eaten since my tiny, but yummy serving of Bertollis Chicken Florentine last night and with crying babies everywhere, deserves big kudos.

In case you don't have the energy to actually go read it, her is a snippet:

So this weekend I leave for Japan. ”Why?” you ask? Because it’s there. And also because I got drunk one night and Victor asked me if I’d go to Japan with him and apparently I said yes. This is what happens when you get drunk around Victor. You wake up in the morning and need a passport. Whenever I mention it to people they’re all “JAPAN! THAT’S AWESOME!” but to be honest I’m a terrible traveler and Japan scares the shit out of me and all I really know about Japan is that Godzilla was born there. Also, I may be mixing Japan up with China. Which I think makes me racist. Or just bad at geography. Possibly both.

I don't think I know her name, I have yet to follow on Twitter (I'm going to but I'm at work and there are restrictions), and she has a SEX COLUMN to boot (obviously, I can't read that here either).

She doesn't need it (uber popular) but show her some love anyway....

New Stuff and Silly Lovely Humans

2009-10-31T06:34:00.005-05:00

Have had some great feedback on some recent posts over at the AROnetworking blog. Check them out.

So You Think You Can Dance has rolled out its new fall version (enough viewers that they could move from summer to fall). I'm consistently touched by this show. Not just the talent but the REAL mentoring these extremely powerful and motivated young dancers receive. They don't have their egos torn down (ala American Idol), but are given concrete feedback as needed and loads of genuine praise.

This year sees the addition of 3 tap dancers. Now, I'll be the first to say that tap gives me the snoozies. BUT I am just amazed at the wealth of curious little passions of the human spirit. Tap, remote control airplanes, peace, cake design, PowerPoint presentations, license plate collecting, building monuments to things we care about...we may not be making the best decisions for our fellow creatures or planet, but we sure are entertaining and silly.

And speaking of passion and American Idol, MY Adam Lambert's upcoming albut (release date 11/23) has more pre-ordered sales than the current albums by Barbra Streisand, Mariah Carey and Madonna. GET OUT! SHUT UP! I'm so happy for him. He was on Oprah briefly this week and they showed a clip from Idol and I got goosebumps again. His photos in Details magazine are hot, hot, hot. I will see him in concert and I might toss some panties. I know. It makes NO SENSE. But hey, he's got that thing!

Embracing My Pooh...?

2009-10-23T08:16:00.001-05:00

You can read about it here.

Libraries Under Attack

2009-10-22T17:32:00.002-05:00

The Philadelphia library system: CLOSED. As a self-described library whore, this is almost as disturbing as the fact that the award-winning, top-rated Cincinnati library is in danger of deep, massive cuts if a levy isn't passed on 11/3. A small levy of about $2.50 per taxpayer per month from a community who, up til now, hasn't paid one cent towards library funding. Ever. My heart is broken, people's jobs on the line so, for once, this "non-joiner" is rising at 630am to pass out leaflets. Don't applaud me. I'd be a true hypocrite if I didn't do something, as much as I've sang library's praises through the years.

Chris Brogan, who most of you don't know but is a big deal in my social media world, wrote a brilliant post on libraries. Check it out. If you are reading this from Cincinnati, get your butt out and VOTE YES on 11/3.

It rained, but...

2009-10-21T16:19:00.004-05:00

we finally managed to have everything converge so we could get away to the cabin in Pennyrile a bit ago. I found a bit of my soul again, drawing in the drizzle while M took photos and we watched and pondered bird species (we party HARD!). Regardless, no cell phone (ok, a little), no TV, no makeup, NO COMPUTER and loads of quiet healed us both significantly from feeling frazzled and overwhelmed.

We talked a lot and read and dozed and hiked. It was heaven. More photos coming to my flickr account soon.

Relevant Mag, Christianity, Lesbians and One Cute Dog!

2009-10-16T13:52:00.006-05:00

Confession. This dog has NOTHING to do with this post. I had the post in mind when M sent the photo and why not spread some doggy love? I think it is via @thedogmeister on Twitter. Regardless. Jesus would LOVE this dog ;-)

Relevant magazine is a total stereotype buster. Yes, we left-leaning (I don't actually lean that way...I'm fully reclined on my left side) lesbians stereotype you white Christians. I'm ashamed to admit it but it is true. Speaking for myself, I don't stereotype Christianity or Christ himself, just the fishy folks who think their way is the only way.

I'll confess I didn't know what Relevant was when I picked it up at the library. Had some band on it. I started reading and, well...I highly recommend it. The tagline is God.Life.Progressive Culture. It is hipster meets Jesus, the MTV generation meets Ghandi. It is what we left-leaners hope the next generation of right-leaners become...and stay.

The reality is Jesus loved everyone...and when I mean loved, I mean actively loved as in a verb. You can't "love" someone while you put them out of a job, prevent them from visiting someone they love in the hospital, prevent them from providing homes to needy foster kids, etc. etc. etc. WWJD? Uhm. I don't think he'd do that. The hard-core stuff is almost all Old Testament. Jesus is part of the new which I think is, well, more relevant.

Relevant IS NOT a left-leaning magazine, but it is progressive. And it is full of strong, thought-provoking writing. One blurb talks about a young man asking his minister how he can be a Christian and have never heard of the atrocities in Darfur. Mickey Rourke discusses his faith in a recent issue, Kings of Leon grace another.

I'm of the bleeding heart variety that thinks it is ok for conservatives and liberals to disagree on some things...but not the basics of humanity. I hope more of the next wave of Christians look for places to compromise and I hope we will. I'm ok (prepare to gasp) that most Relevant readers don't want me to marry. I'm only 46 and I remember when everyone kept hidden the fact they were gay. That wasn't that long ago people and some Louisiana judges still refuse to marry interracial couples! I think we need to be a bit patient. But that's just me (and I think marriage is a wishful crock anyway).

Lots of music and pop culture at relevant but only in doses small enough it doesn't obscure the important messages. Check it out!

Current Favorite Poem

2009-10-11T14:50:00.002-05:00

EVERYTHING IS WAITING FOR YOU

(After Derek Mahon)

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice. You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
the conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.

~ David Whyte ~

Photo: Misty Mawn-check out her amazing site and photography

My "faux" Interview with White Hot Truth's Danielle LaPorte

2009-10-09T21:12:00.007-05:00

I do oh-so-love to share, right? I have a new super-heroine. When I grow up (hell, I'm probably older already) I want to be the MizK version of her bad self, although I'm not sure dreds would work on me. (That's ME on the left, not HER. To see her click on the link above.)

She asks some killer interview questions and, in the spirit of manifesting my reality, I'm going to be FAUX interviewed here (questions lifted from Danielle's site).

FULL DISCLAIMER. SHE DID NOT REALLY INTERVIEW ME:

1. What do you hope is true? That tattoos do not look gross when we are old, that you really can do what you passionately love and have plenty o'money, that love conquers all.
2. Does your alter-ego have a name? Not yet, but she is part Emily Strange, part Maya Angelou...Emily Angelou?
3. What are you trying to discover? How to allow the Universe to provide me with ample income. I'm very resistant.
4. What book are you always recommending? It changes but for sure The Art of Possibility is going to be a constant.
5. When was the last time you thought "Yes! that gal has got it going on!" Duh. Yesterday when I "found" DL.
6. How do you get shit done? I have clients with deadlines. They make sure I get paid. The shit gets done.
7. I'm going to give you a word. What's the first thing that comes to mind? Ready? MONEY. Greed. See #3. Ok. A nicer word? DEVOTION. Passion for a child, art, books that keep you keepin' on.

I heartily recommend taking a few and reading some White Hot Truth.

Love This...

2009-10-07T16:27:00.003-05:00

There are several great notebook/journaling blogs out there and Rhodia Drive is one of my favorites, for lovers of the little graph paper orange books. They did a post on this fellow and his writing style and I LOVE IT! Plus I heart this beat up little book.

And then there is THIS!!!
And look! I figured out how to make my blog RED! You may not be excited but I am....

In Defense of Blogging

2009-10-05T08:59:00.000-05:00

Wrote a dual post here.

It's crack!

2009-09-25T17:10:00.004-05:00

Found on one of the zillions of pages on NotCot.org. I'm sorry. Prepare to be tied up for awhile. This comes from Cheeming Booey, hand draw on styro coffee cups. No lie. But this is ONLY the beginning...

Fall has officially arrived, all chilly and moody like me. M and I will make yet another attempt (Max, if you screw this one up, I will NOT be happy) to head to the Pennyrile cabin, this time for 3 nights though. Nice. Hopefully not so cold the fishies will be hiding.

Ok, that's all I have. Hospital day almost over and I'm pooped!

Buddha Shaped Pears? and Other Tidbits

2009-09-20T09:14:00.003-05:00

Photo found on Yahoo. Personally I love these little buddha shaped pears (grown in molds after a lengthy trial and error process by a Chinese farmer). Is it wrong to eat it though? Cute for a little dinner party dessert (if I was a dinner party kinda gal) but I really like them just hangin' from the tree.

Mad Men is juicier than ever this season. Peggy is a hot tamale of lust, Don is maddeningly conflicted and Pete is as slimy as ever. Jon Hamm and Jennifer Jones are on Oprah tomorrow. Is your TiVo ready? I'm loving 'gay night' (Wednesday) on Fox. I mean, c'mon: So You Think You Can Dance followed by Glee? It is a jazz hands festival each week and who can feel down about that???

I just finished Safekeeping by Abigail Thomas. Small (very) essays by the author of the also excellent Three Dog Life. Sweet, thoughtful books both and quick reads.

Though I haven't taken much time to listen my most current iPod downloads have been The Killers, an unusual one by Beck (so unusual I didn't know who I was listening to when the unadorned cd got separated from its case), Mat Kearney (not as good as his last) and Dreamworld which is pretty good mellow electronica.

I saw District 9 and (500) Days of Summer last. I can recommend both (though different!).

Heading off to Bowling Green to see Tracey and Cara, pops and the missus. Outta here!

Cute!!!

2009-08-29T11:53:00.003-05:00

Tiny succulents in painted Altoid tins. Oy vey! Check out Craftzine for this and more.

Oh Yes...The Drive to the E-book Has Begun

2009-08-28T15:25:00.005-05:00

After more than one person asked how I got my little biz off the ground, I went ahead and wrote this post. Check it out! Do subscribe if you are interested so I can add you to my list when I get the newsletter and e-book up and runnin'!

What else? Yippee! Mad Men has started, though it is very cryptic (and I'm pleased as punch that Peggy has turned into such a randy little thing).

For those who don't already know, I am a LIBRARY WHORE. Cincinnati's phenom library is the only metro library in the state who doesn't receive local funding at all. There's a levy coming up. VOTE FOR IT. Also, turns out the Kenton County, Kentucky library system is pretty awesome too (though they don't have Boston Legal on DVD..wtf?).

Getting excited about SXSWi again this year. Started voting for panels. Another reason to head to Austin. Well, for me, the only reason. M and I will stay longer and better this time and I will NOT be sick.

I'm reading Kathleen Norris's thought-provoking Acedia & Me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life. She is simply a phenomenal writer and this speaks to that mood that isn't quite depression, isn't quite laziness and the struggle writers (and anyone self-employed working from home) face.

Ciao for now! P.S. I forget where the photo originated from. It is not mine and when I find out, I'll credit.

New Post at AROnetworking: But What Do You Do...Exactly?

2009-08-19T11:06:00.002-05:00

Read all about this crazy work life here.

Stencil Madness

2009-08-13T15:30:00.004-05:00

Oh. A lovely art site that is making me want to spend the $25 for the stenciling class. The piece shown is from one of the students....so fab. Check out more of Mary Ann Moss at her blog Dispatches from LA.

Fabulous Quote

2009-08-07T09:05:00.001-05:00

"Money and desire--all that is going to collapse, and wild green grasses are going to take over." -Hayao Miyazaki

Photo: Kevin Dooley

5 Things Every Single Gal (on a budget) Needs

2009-08-01T08:50:00.005-05:00

I live alone (with 3 cats). This is a state I never expected to find myself in and was/am ill-equipped for. However, I am increasingly comfortable with it and I have a few tips that I've learned in my almost 2 years of flying solo. After 27 years of living with assorted someones and very little break in between them, it has been a lot of trial and error. Here, in no particular order, are my 5 MUST HAVE's. (#6 is not listed. My father and son read this blog).

1. A George Foreman grill with removable plates. Don't skimp! The removable grill plates are the difference between loving and hating this indispensable tool. One of the biggest issues with living alone is food. I cooked for kids and family for a lotta years. I don't want to do it anymore. Unlike a lot of single folks, I undereat when alone. Laziness trumps hunger. Still, sometimes I gotta. I always grill 2 pieces of meat, unless it's fish, on the Foreman so I can reheat one later. OR I grill meat and veggies (peppers, onions, mushrooms, asparagus).

2. A wide selection of cereal. Milk is a struggle. Despite having many cereal-only meals I can rarely use even a 1/2 gallon of 1-2% without it going bad. I checked into alternatives. It is still cheaper to throw the remainder away. There are TWO TYPES OF CEREAL: entree and dessert. Entree favs for me are Multi-Grain Cheerios, regular Total with banana (you can pretend you are a healthy eater), raisin bran and Life. Dessert cereal includes Lucky Charms (the Quaker Oat brand in a bag is just as good and cheaper) and Corn Pops (yum! I haven't had those in awhile).

There is one switch-hitter: Post Blueberry Morning. It has blueberries in it (they always end up at the bottom though) so it qualifies as an entree cereal. BUT it is so sweet and yummy, it often ends up as dessert.

3. Furniture moving sliders. Why, why, why did I wait so long to buy these? I moved a very large bookshelf and desk from one room to another with these and it was easier than with another person. I think non-singles should have these too.

4. The library. Actually this is for everyone. And I won't belabor it here. You know how I feel (but, that said, you can watch every episode of nearly every TV show known to man when you cannot find real company to hang with-and it's free!).

5. A best friend who is single as well. One must must must have someone with whom to

bitch about being single and the dearth of available, smart, funny, sexy men or women
fall apart on the phone
pick apart every sexual nuance of an encounter
spend the night when you think you can't take one more night alone
hit "singles" events so you can trash them later
there's more but Stephanie Spanja-here's to you! Mary had Rhoda. I have you...

Ohhhhhh....

2009-07-27T16:47:00.004-05:00

Perfect garden shed, eh? From here.

Let Me Be the Lucky Woman Adam!

2009-07-26T09:35:00.004-05:00

Good lord. Adam Lambert is as cool as a cucumber...funny, sensitive, insightful. I love "sexy is sexy, we're attracted to what we're attracted to." Honestly, he is going miles in helping people understand we have got to stop trying so damned hard to put labels on each other and stuff ourselves into boxes. And can he sing...wow.

Yeah, Yeah. I Know You've Seen It

2009-07-25T11:30:00.003-05:00

Haven't cried at many weddings (actually, haven't been to many), but I did at this one. Wow! Never occurred to me how seriously we take the whole affair and how it is a celebration of two people in love! Why the hell shouldn't they be dancing their asses off...? What a great way to start off an attempt (sorry, cynic) at a life together! Will this viral video create a new line of work: wedding choreographers?

Here's to Jill and Kevin, as I wipe one more tiny one away:

Visual Deliciousness

2009-07-24T17:39:00.004-05:00

This amazing work area is from here.

Had a bite with Xavier U art professor and sculptor, Kelly Phelps, this week who, along with his twin brother Kyle (University of Dayton art prof!) have made figurative sculptures depicting the working class ala Diego Rivera. They've sold their work to the likes of Michael Moore and Morgan Freeman. He educated me on skinhead culture (dude, you were right!) and gun culture (still think you're wrong). I, of course, educated him on my culture and blogging. All in all, a fascinating discussion with a new friend that had me both disturbed and delighted.

Giving some thought to...

2009-07-16T11:08:00.006-05:00

Moving my identity permanently from MizKCreations blog to the Kelly Livesay blog. I use the business blog as a way to highlight my work, offer some inspiration and business advice, etc., but it is all about being "authentic". Am I authentic if I divide my self into business and professional when I don't really "have to". Not sure. My biggest client right now is lovely (i.e. he gives praise and pays well and on time). He is also a devout conservative Christian and Republican (look, I have to eat and I try not to judge him). Will he want to work with a lesbian who adores Marilyn Manson's persona and art? Hmmmm. What do YOU think?

Anyway, blog posts will have to cross from time to time while I decide. For those of you who didn't know, I have yet another blog called The Truth is Stranger which focuses on nonfiction and storytelling in print, film, radio and tv. A little Whole New Mind and a little This American Life. I started it because I wanted to pick the brains of authors on writing non-fiction as there are about 20 book ideas swirling around in my brain and only a few started (I get stuck on research).

The site has turned out pretty well, been picked up by Guy Kawasaki as one of the best film blogs and will start having interviews...something I do well. I tell you all of this because I wrote a fun little post over there I think you should read.

If you have input on blending the personal and professional, do let me know. Here's a sample of how I'd like it to work.

Loveliness

2009-06-20T10:58:00.002-05:00

Wiping drool off my chin....of course it is from Design Sponge.

Prof. Sam Kelly asked me why so I had to think. I believe it is the turquoise/red color combo.

Inspiration

2009-06-19T13:16:00.004-05:00

I have four things to inspire you today! How lucky am I to have them to share with you?

The first is the amazing book "The Art of Possibility". It is a MUST READ for everyone. If you do not feel more hopeful, more motivated, more excited after you read it, if you bought the book, I WILL BUY IT BACK FROM YOU. No lie. I will.

#2: Amazing song and lyrics from Death Cab for Cutie. The song is

Soul Meets Body

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new

Cause in my head there’s a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where they’re far more suited than here

And I cannot guess what we'll discover
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another’s
And not one speck will remain

And I do believe it’s true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you’re the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Where soul meets body

Where soul meets body
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

And #3 is this lovely, great lady:

And finally #4 is this entrepreneur, owner of Pangea Organics, who has lived a life similar to Dan Eldon's but is still with us to tell the tale!

More Good Stuff

2009-06-13T15:04:00.003-05:00

I know...you all wondered incessantly where I find this great stuff. If you tried to follow the path in my brain or on my computer you'd be ASTOUNDED (not really, but you would be very tired).

You must follow the adventures of My Milk Toof. And people think I'm creative...

For God's sake-have you EVER?

2009-06-13T12:22:00.003-05:00

I haven't been to Cute Overload in awhile. So I'll add it to my gettoutuva funk list.

10 Quick Ways to Pull Outuva Funk

2009-06-10T12:28:00.006-05:00

If only depression were something you could just "fix". For me it is not. It is a daily battle to avoid the black swirling hole...sort of like dirty bath water going down the drain...and I'm the fly trying to get free. It is hard, hard work and a fight I've waged most of my life. I'm 46 now, though, so I've learned a few things to help me battle it more succesfully. This is in addition to the most amazing therapist EVER (my little Quaker elf) and good meds (hats off to Cymbalta...I call my life before that "BC" because of the irritability and anxiousness that Cymbalta has pretty much cured).

Here are my Quick Ways to avoid the hole:

1. Do something. Anything that will give you a tiny sense of movement and accomplishment. For me, depression is about inertia. The more I sit, or lie, the worse I feel. I KNOW. This little #1 is hard but it's quick.

2. In order to help you with #1, break your bigger tasks down and do one teeny part of it. You'll have to trick yourself and say "this is all I have to do". I really do not want to leave my house today to go to the library...so I at least have my books and library cards in a neat pile by the door.

3. And/or set a timer. Tell yourself you will only pick up, paint, do laundry, write, whatever for 10 minutes. Microwaves have timers. Use it. Once you are up and moving, you will often find you have kicked the funk and are in a new place.

4. Listen to Adam Lambert's version of "Feelin' Good". You can get this off iTunes. I actually have the show saved so I can watch his big Tim Curry Franknfurther version and his little boy grin when he's done slays me.

5. Go to YouTube. Type in "Laughing Babies" and watch some. After you've giggled, try getting up and doing #1. If babies don't do it, just watch Maru, the cat, channel on YouTube:

6. I'm blessed with two good people who truly understand. Sometimes just calling and saying "I need out of this funk" helps. M and I have a pact to hold each other more accountable for getting certain things done.

7. A shower and getting cleaned up works also. "It's better to look good than to feel good" per Fernando (aka Billy Crystal). Honestly, sometimes this is true.

8. Get thee into nature. Now, when I go alone I feel lonely (but this is my personal issue-not yours!) but I also feel much calmer. I headed into Mt. Airy Forest yesterday, watched the woodpeckers and chipmunks. I felt blessed.

9. Set up a support system. I finally learned that I want friends I can just be with...no talking, no socializing. They do their thing and let me just hang out in the background. But I had to ask for it. And my friends are willing to give it.

10. End the day. Sometimes, especially in the evening, you realize this day has sucked ass. It is quite ok to "put the day to bed". If I've learned anything in this struggle, it's that moods fluctuate and on my worst night I wake up the next morning and it is simply gone.

If you are NOT SAFE, call someone who cares and be with them. Just sit. Tell people you are in a dark place. They WILL be there for you. If it gets really bad, get professional help. Life is incredibly hard work and we all come with our odd mix of chemicals, memories and issues. It's what makes us human. Be kind to you!

DISTRESSING NEWS! Please help...

2009-06-08T09:29:00.003-05:00

UPDATE: Resolved and home safe. You can read about it here.

For those of you who occasionally read this blog, you will know I've included Current.com and TV as one of my favorite sources. I opened Yahoo mail today to discover that two of their journalists have been arrested and charged to 12 years in a North Korean prison. I had no idea (was it covered?) that they'd been arrested on March 17. Current was created by Al Gore to be an "open source" news source, but they also do provide hard core news by younger journalists. Thank God Barack is in office. I hate to think how long they'd linger before anyone would do anything in past administrations. He is working diligently for their release (and I actually believe him).

Laura Ling, sister to fellow reporter Lisa Ling, and Euna Lee have been imprisoned for exposing conditions in North Korea. The first saw what it was like to live in North Korea when LISA Ling reported for Oprah. NO TV (except the gov't channel), NO Internet, NO contact with the outside world, NO artists or music that isn't gov't approved. It was eerie. No people on the streets. ZERO freedom and obviously very strict laws.

Take a moment to drop an email to your local congress person, encouraging them to not let pressure off of North Korea (which is using these two women as pawns in a bargaining game over nuclear weapons with the US).

Been a long time...

2009-06-06T07:44:00.006-05:00

(Do you hear Led Zeppelin when you read that?)

Wow. What a crazy wild ride my life is! Working two days per week in the ER and writing, writing, writing. Who would have thought? I added two new clients this week-one writing career related articles for his Web site, the other editing a business book. With each client (I've had about 12 now!) I learn something (like I'm pricing myself too low). Regardless, when I'm sitting in my jeans and flip-flops in some dark coffee house writing, I stop and think "I'm living my dream". Not enough money in the current dream (I forgot to add that detail when asking the Universe for what I wanted), but I'm getting there...

Just finished Season 2 of The Closer. Great series...definitely improving as it goes along. Also on Season 3 of ER (ha! I started before I even applied for my part-time job...never watched it in the beginning so it is fun catching up. Plus lots of seasons to keep me entertained). My guilty pleasure has been The Cougar (sort of like The Bachelorette but the lady is 40 and the guys are all 28 and younger). I have the season finale DVR'd and it will be like a big piece of gooey cake when I finally get to it after work tonight.

I'm reading (along with thousands of others) The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. It has me. Certainly, so far, not the best book I've read but I have trouble finding fiction that grabs me. Reading the Amazon reviews, don't know if I'll finish or not. I really enjoyed Paris Trance. Mostly reading more nonfiction for work.

I started another blog that got picked up by Alltop.com ("The Best of The Best in Blogs") after 3 days!!! It is The Truth is Stranger... a nonfiction print and film blog. I'm hoping to turn it, long-term, into a source of income. I have a couple of books in me and there is lots of info on writing fiction, but less about nonfiction. Thus the reason. And I love documentaries...

Day 2 to Increasing your Likeability

2009-05-12T10:23:00.001-05:00

Check it here.

A lovely gift from Marie

2009-05-11T09:09:00.003-05:00

Ah, there are times and days that fall perfectly into place. It's easy to forget this in the rush to get to where you want to be, easy to forget what you do have instead of focusing on what you are missing. This was the BEST gift of my weekend, among many, dubbed "The Kelly Song":

I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin
I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water,
if I could tell you what’s next,
Make you believe, make you forget
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violence, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water,
if I could tell you what’s next,
Make you believe, make you forget
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

And in love I miss the pull of your heart
I can taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come…on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on love

Come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in
It's all wrong It's all wrong
It's all right
So, come on, get higher
Come on, get higher
'Cause everything works
Everything works in your arms

Matt Nathanson

I Don't Know: Lisa Hannigan

2009-04-20T16:34:00.002-05:00

Happy little ditty...and cool art at once. Doesn't get much better...
I Don't Know from ATO Records on Vimeo.

From Michael Neill":Reset Your Happiness Setpoint

2009-04-20T08:06:00.005-05:00

1. The Upper Limit Problem

One of the core tenets of the Hendricks' work is the idea that we each carry an unconscious "thermostat" inside us set for exactly how much joy, happiness and positive experience we can stand. Once that upper limit is reached, we will find a way to bring ourselves back down to a more "comfortable" level of happiness and success.

Here's how Gay writes about it in his wonderful new book The Big Leap:

[The Upper Limit Problem] shows up when we're feeling good (or making extra money or feeling a deeper loving connection in a relationship). When we're feeling good, we may come up against the hidden barrier of an old belief such as "I must not feel good, because fundamentally flawed people like me don't deserve it." The churning froth of these two powerful forces clashing with each other is the chief constituent of the irritating, itchy, slow-drizzle feeling of guilt.

When the old belief clashes with the positive feelings you're enjoying, one of them has to win. If the old belief wins, you turn down the volume on the positive feeling (or lose some money or start an intimacy-destroying argument with your partner). If the good feeling wins, congratulations!

Your practice in expanding your capacity for positive energy is paying off. Your capacity expands in small increments each time you consciously let yourself enjoy the money you have, the love you feel, and the creativity you are expressing in the world. As that capacity for enjoyment expands, so does your financial abundance, the love you feel, and the creativity you express.

What's surprising to most people that I've shared this idea with is that they recognize they have a very distinct answer to the question "How good can you stand it?" - and that answer is almost never "As good as it gets!"

The prescription for breaking through the Upper Limit Problem (or ULP, for short!) is simple:

1. Ask yourself "Am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?"
2. Notice anywhere your answer is anything other than an emphatic "Yes!" and clean it up.

2. Discovering your Commitments Before my work with the Hendricks, I didn't consider myself to be a terribly committed person. During our work together, they pointed out that the problem isn't that we lack commitment in our lives - it's that we are unconsciously committed to all sorts of things that simply don't work. The way you uncover your unconscious commitments is simply to notice whatever you do consistently and recognize that if you aren't willing to change it in this moment, you must be committed to doing it. Amongst the things I discovered I was unconsciously committed to at that time (in the sense that I couldn't or wouldn't stop doing them) were:

Overeating
Disorganization
Being out of shape
Being "too busy"

Whilst I initially resisted saying things like "I am committed to continuing to eat past the point when I am full" and "I am committed to not making time to work out", I quickly realized that claiming my unconscious commitments allowed me to change them. Soon I was able to say (and mean) things like "I commit to stopping eating as soon as I even think I might be full" and "I commit to working out each morning before my day begins".

Better still, I was then able to honor those new, conscious commitments by acting on them until they became habitualized - that is, easier to do than not do.

My breakthrough came when Katie pointed out in one of our sessions that given how much people seemed to appreciate my work, it was curious to her that it hadn't become more widely known.

She gently suggested I might have an unconscious commitment to not being seen. When I first tried on the phrase "I am committed to flying under the radar and not being seen", I fought it like hell. After all, I sent out tips each week to a couple of thousand people - I even had my own website!

But within a few minutes of repeating the phrase out loud and to myself, I realized that it was true - I was terrified of what might happen if people really began to notice me and look a little closer at the person behind the work. With Gay and Katie's gentle but persistent coaching, I tried on a new commitment:

I commit to flying in plain sight.

While this shift was accompanied by an emotional release (that's a guy way of saying I cried my eyes out), the real shock was what happened next. Over the next week, I was offered over $100,000 in training opportunities around the world and given the chance to work on a book that became an international bestseller.

And as much as I tried to make that into a coincidence, I am grateful to this day to the coaches who catalyzed that coincidence into life! Here's an experiment you can do to play with this distinction for yourself...

Today's Experiment:
1. Make a list of any unwanted conditions in your life and/or any habitual behaviors you would like to change. Examples:

Being unhappy
Arguing with your spouse or children
Being unemployed or in an unfulfilling job

2. Assume that in order to maintain this condition or behavior in your life, you must at some level be committed to it. Give voice to this unconscious commitment with this sentence starter. I am committed to... Examples:

I am committed to being unhappy
I am committed to arguing with my spouse
I am committed to being in an unfulfilling job

3. As best you can, just be in your body as you repeat this "commitment statement" again and again both out loud and in your head. If you find yourself arguing with it, resisting it, distracting yourself, or "deciding not to do it" within the first three minutes, smile at your ego's wonderful self-protection mechanism and keep repeating the statement.

4. At some point, you will experience a feeling shift in your body - what the Hendricks' sometimes call a "whole body knowing". This lets you know that you've taken ownership of your old, unconscious commitment and are now ready to change.

5. Now, consider what you'd like to commit to instead. Use this sentence starter to give voice to this new commitment: I commit to...Examples:

I commit to my own happiness and well-being
I commit to letting go of my expectations and judgments of my partner
I commit to finding work that I love and want to do

6. Continue speaking your new commitment out loud and in your head until you once again experience a feeling shift that lets you know that it is your true intention going forward.

7. Choose one action you can take to begin grounding your new commitment within the next 24 hours. Examples:

Meditate for 10 minutes
Make a list of all my judgments of my partner and ask myself "Could I let go of wanting to change that?" as I go through each item on the list.
Take ½ an hour to begin brainstorming everything I've ever enjoyed doing in the past and what it was about that thing that I particularly enjoyed.

Have fun, learn heaps, and if you're unconsciously committed to anything other than love, happiness and a wonderful life, consider bringing a new conscious commitment to life!

With love,

Michael Neill

Read all about it!

2009-04-16T20:26:00.003-05:00

Finally had a session with the amazing Jeannette Maw, Good Vibe Coach. You can read all about it here! She's also speaking at Martha Beck's seminar in Chicago in July (come on Universe! I'm ready to go!). Amazing woman, phenomenal experience!

Follow me on Twitter at: kellylivesay.

Hugs all...

THIS explains it

2009-04-10T05:02:00.002-05:00

I came across this great article and wanted to share it in full. It is from Patricia Hill.

To All of My Dear Women Friends,

Here is some technical information that I have found on chocolate, or at least the phenylethylamine that is in chocolate, as a very important antidepressant.

Many people, especially women, experience depression in the form of "love withdrawal". I am quite serious, and I have both experienced it myself and observed it in my close associates and in my clients in my psychology practice. One goes through an actual set of withdrawal symptoms, including depression, when the levels of oxytocin in the body drop suddenly.

Oxytocin is a hormonal product of phenylethylamine, and it is stimulated in close, affectionate relationships of all kinds, so it is literally called "the love hormone". One can, as a result, literally become addicted to it and go through the very same withdrawal symptoms that are experienced with drug or alcohol addiction withdrawal when love is removed or even just distanced or reduced in intensity. Craving chocolate may be a symptom of this type of withdrawal, along with many of the other unpleasant symptoms of withdrawal such as "dysphoria", which is the opposite of euphoria; lethargy, brain fog, feelings of hopelessness and sadness and even thoughts of suicide.

Many people probably have a deficiency of phenylethylamine either hereditarily or as a result of its depletion due to past love withdrawals or deprivations. They can then actually become "love addicts" who need a " love fix" constantly in order to feel normal. Oxytocin calms and soothes, and a lack of it leads to a rise in cortisol, which is associated with stress, anxiety and even weight gain in women. When women are stressed, their bodies tell them to seek the company of others and to form close bonds. It is literally a survival mechanism, related to the maternal instinct of protecting one's young and finding strength in numbers by banding together when there is danger. Oxytocin is also stimulated by pregnancy, childbirth and nursing, as well as by nurturing, altruism, stroking, touching, making love and having orgasms.

Men, fortunately or unfortunately, experience the need for "fight or flight", ie going into solitary battle or running away when they are stressed or challenged. Does this sound familiar? Oxytocin reduces this fight or flight tendency in men, so love can soothe and pacify and even "domesticate" them as well....

So, to all of you women out there who might be depressed, eat chocolate!!! Or better yet, connect and share yourself with a friend, a lover, a child or a pet. Love really is the most important thing in our lives......

5 of My Favorite Things...

2009-04-08T11:36:00.009-05:00

Per Stephanie Klein, I'm supposed to share the love about 5 of my favorite things today. Anyone who reads my blog knows many of these already, so I'll try to share some more obscure items today...which might take me a few minutes to think of.

1. The Cincinnati Public Library. I'm pretty much "untied", as in free to relocate wherever I want. But I don't want to. Why stay in the midwest in a fairly conservative city? Our library system is TOP NOTCH. In fact, the downtown Cincinnati library loans out more books per year than the New York Public Library! Can this be? YES, it can. Obscure music, awesome selection of movies and tv on DVD and, of course, books. It's all there...for free (or a small donation, aka late fee).

2. Geoff Dyer. Ok, I'm 3 pages away from finishing Yoga for People Who Can't Be Bothered to Do It. I'm in love with this guy's writing. No idea where I heard about him. Oprah mag maybe? But he is a witty Brit with a real gift for language.

3. TED.com. From Elizabeth Gilbert to Sir Ken Robinson, I'm perpetually moved (to laughter, and tears) by many of the speakers from this prestigious conference. If I ever get really good at speaking (and over my terr0r), to present here would be the pinnacle of success.

4. Oprah magazine. Don't dismiss it. I ignore (mostly) Dr. Phil and the beauty articles, but the recommendations on film, music, art, books and the stuff by Martha Beck are worth the cheap subscription. For that matter, magazines in general are an entertainment bargain.

5. Watching Idol with "tweeple". I like Twitter but have especially enjoyed American Idol while watching the #idol stream since I don't really watch it "with" anyone. To do this, use http://www.search.twitter.com/, use search term #idol (or, for that matter, #anything you are interested in: Nine Inch Nails, yorkies, tasers...there's something there for everyone.

Photo from cute overload

Fun journal and pen sites

2009-04-06T11:07:00.005-05:00

Ah. For the love of a good pen...or journal...or art journal...and all things in between. I've been finding quite a few new sites and still enjoying my old standbys. For you guys, here is a fun set of resources that are never dull. This page is from sarahbowen.

New to me is the copic marker site, the "marker created for creative people". I haven't used copic but they are mainstays for graphic designers. Great galleries of all types of art including graffiti on paper.

Sharpie has a blog! Though Cat Sidh has long warned of Sharpies' non-archival qualities, for many of us they are a cheap alternative to Zig and other fine line permanent markers. And I don't care if you can read my work in 200 years.

Moleskinerie is for you Moleskine loyalists. I WANT a Moleksine, but have sworn off journals until I fill the ones I have...not an easy task. A similar for you lovers of Rhodia graph notebooks is Rhodiadrive. And, then for a lovely generic site there is Notebookism.

I can't access flickr links here at work any more but be sure to check out notebookism, circa rollers, moleskine, and a variety of photo groups dedicated to art journals. One day, after gardening is done, I'm confident I'll start all my art stuff again...but for now, brushes and pens are sleeping...

Happy Sunny Day!

2009-04-04T09:00:00.007-05:00

I should be doing so many other things but I cannot. I'm drinking coffee out of my happy heart mug which was a gift from my new boss (when I was recruiting for her). It is the perfect shade of red which got me thinking about R-E-D and how I had lost the "redness" in me while A and I were together at first. I think I thought my obsession with the color was a sign of immaturity and I went more stripped down. Our house in New Albany had nary a red wall or piece of furniture or accent. Compare that to James and my place in California which had red mini blinds, red rugs, red, red, everywhere.

Red is in your blood and it can be hard to shake.

It started finding it's way back to me in my last few years with A. Red sofa (which I miss), red doors, a spot here and there. Now I have and am committed to a bit of red in every room. Every one including the bathroom (red and chocolate brown). Welcome back happy color. I missed you.

The above photo is from designsponge-which, along with The Selby-is my fav design site. The place in the photo belongs to kate bingaman-burt, a graphic design professor who also worked on Handmade Nation which, thankfully, is finally coming out. I LOVE this place. I crave a big open space with concrete floors that I can drip paint on and not worry. One day. I have only two real dreams: an amazing life partner and a home of my own (a scooter would be a nice add). Totally doable.

This was a turning point spring. I started babies under growlights again for the first time in 5 years! Sunflowers, gomphrena, moonflower (thanks M), cilantro, basil, cosmos (pink and white) and johnny jump-ups. The violets are already potted outside and my mini-greenhouse gets assembled today (though snow is forecasted Monday) so I can transplant and start conditioning the babies for outside. Mostly I've planted annuals for cut flowers but the yard has a zillion daylilies, coneflower and peonies. I discovered tiny grape hyacinth in bloom and once I'm done here, I'm heading out to cut a few for my tiny vases.

All of this is a turn towards what I want in my life and taking care of me. Through coaching from friends and Quaker-elf, I realize I'm excellent at caring for others and suck bad at caring for me. I don't cook for me, don't clean for me, don't take me out, don't surprise me with much of anything. I'm learning, folks. It's been a lifetime of caring for spouses and kids and pets. I don't know anything else.

Finally, I haven't written about it but James drifts through my sleep almost every night. Because we had only seen each other once in about 8 years, the loss is felt differently. It's the loss of possibility: of building a friendship with my son's father, with getting to watch him age and change and share our thoughts and feelings about our youth and that process. I miss that acutely and cannot believe it will never be. He was a kind and gentle man and I believe no one, save Ryan, has loved me more.

Damn. Should end on a happier note. The sun is shining and there is coffee...

I love this shit!

2009-03-26T17:17:00.002-05:00

Part tiny house, part recycling (ok, some not so tiny!).

Shipping Container Houses

I can't keep up!

2009-03-24T08:13:00.002-05:00

Writing for 3-4 blogs is tough stuff and I am in orientation for West Chester Med Ctr so no computer access during the day. Here's a quick rundown:

Most of my activity, right now, can be found here.

Just returned from Austin! It was fantastic though a rotten headcold depeleted a bit of my joy the first few days. However, I met inspiring folks all over the place. I've been adding photos to my flickr site you can glance at if you have nothing else to do.

Still no cable tv, but I'm about to break. I do manage to watch Idol and am staggered by the talent displayed at last week's Grand Old Opry show. Finally saw Milk with Sean Penn and it was amazing!

For those of you who use Twitter, I'm pretty active there in the evenings (name: kellylivesay).

The new job looks like it's going to be fun and daunting. My co-workers look fairly cool and I think it will be good to get out of the house for 2 days per week. I'll be very glad when orientation is done.

That's it! Have to get ready to leave...

Sorrow

2009-03-03T11:53:00.002-05:00

Our Lady of Sorrows ("Mater dolorosa")
Originally uploaded by Cyricc

What is the place for the ex-wife and mother? I will have to hide much of my grief because somehow it feels -or is- disallowed. Because we are not together does it deny over a decade of strong young love or the qualities of each of us that live on in this young man? Regardless, I am sad we will not speak. I am sad we will not remember happy times. I am sad I ever hurt you, gentle man. I wish you had known the me I am now and not the one I was then.
*************************************************************************

So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
That you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll
See another day and we will praise it
And love the light that brings a smile
Across your face...

from "Hold On"- S. MacLachlan

Play

2009-03-01T10:03:00.002-05:00

Marie surprised me by spontaneously dragging me into Gameworks after dinner. Now, we are both very cerebral and can spend long minutes dissecting the root of a word so I initially balked. Plus it was gloomy out and neither of us was exactly bouncy. I haven't been into an arcade since Ryan was a teenager and I wondered over the technology and what someone set down from even 1950 might think if they were in there...it is truly like science fiction. Anyway. Getting cerebral.

It took us forever to figure out where to even get a game card (vs. tokens or-gasp-quarters!) so we could play and yes. We headed for pinball first. I suck at pinball (M was much better) but it is at least familiar. But bless my gal's heart. She pushed us to try new stuff.Wanna see something hysterical? Watch two 45+ year old "ladies" climb aboard "race cars" and try to figure out what the HECK you are supposed to do next.

But wow! After we died quickly, fully nauseated, we passed the dancing machines (shaking our heads-"uh, no") over to the Star Wars X-wing flyers game. We mounted our fliers and took off through the deserts, of, well, Star Wars land? TOO MUCH FREAKING FUN! Much more intuitive than any other driving game and we were snorting and laughing like mad.

No root words were examined. No heavy discussions about us or the politics of the Star Wars films. Just a ton of laughter (and too much inhaled Kentucky smoke).

Fun stuff

2009-02-27T13:41:00.008-05:00

Photo by Kookyworld

Here's an IMPORTANT news item I had to share.

I'm excited by heading out to The 20th Century Cincinnati Show again this year with M and eating here after so I can gaze at my beloved city.

I'm devotedly watching Idol which is P-A-I-N-F-U-L without DVR to get through commercials, lame Paula comments and BAD SINGERS, of which there are plenty. I've not missed cable until now.

I'm reading Macolm Gladwell's (author of The Tipping Point and Blink) new book, Outliers, which explains that success is as much, if not more, the product of environment than genetics. As always, dry material made fascinating.

I secured a part-time position at the new West Chester Medical Center as a health unit coordinator in the Emergency Dept. Two twelve-hour shifts and full benefits. A freelancer's dream come true.

Finally my dear sweet friend and co-contractor, Michelle, wrote me a lovely poem since we are parting ways and I'm turning 46 (ugh). I think she is too shy to want it pasted for everyone to see, but suffice to say, we've been through our private struggles since we met in October and were each other's safety zone during the day. I love her.

A weird realization

2009-02-15T16:03:00.004-05:00

I like survival stuff. I'm certainly not the kind of person who wants to rough it in the woods (realistically-I've alway said my whining about dry lips would get me booted from Survivor day 1), but I'm certainly drawn to the ultimate in minimalism: surviving in nature and the monastic lifestyle. This, like most of my conclusions, was realized over time and in discussion with M who is one of the best listeners and understand-ers out there. We both loved My Side of the Mountain growing up. I remember reading the book and then joyfully seeing the movie as a kid. The idea of hollowing out a tree and living in it with my own personal band of critters was a wonderful antidote to the chaos I often experienced at home.

I also adored The Boxcar Children series, especially the first one when the orphaned kids set up house in the boxcar itself, scrounging for pots and pans and broken-down furniture, independent and in charge of their own desitinies. The mysteries didn't do much for me, but the setting up of a tiny, little self contained home did. Then there were books and gasp! Just googled Andrew Henry's Meadow which I STILL own from childhood and imdb says there is a movie in development!

Favorite design show? Small Space, Big Style (cancelled). Favorite reality show? Survivor. New interesting reality show (new to me, that is): Survivorman. Love the idea of Burning Man (summer in the desert probably wouldn't work for me but I long to go). And I've certainly spent my fair share of time exploring voluntary simplicity...though it doesn't show.

I've been hooked on the monastic tradition since I read Kathleen Norris's The Cloister Walk. From that point on, books seemed to find me: The Mermaid Chair, The Father and the Son, and Amazing Grace. Something in me loves the idea of being stripped down to the bare minimum of possessions, but I don't have the self-discipline or courage to do it voluntarily. No idea where this stems from (though my dad always read Mother Earth News and owned many of the Firefox books). Just a realization over time.

Fun stuff from The Selby

2009-02-05T11:44:00.007-05:00

Many of the photos on The Selby are taken in France. Look how beautiful!

Did I write about The Selby before? I can't recall. It's taking off though, that's for sure. Self-explanatory but highly creative. These are a few of my favorites. Trends include clustering art on the walls and stacking books on the floor (or anywhere else).

How wonderful it must be to find someone as quirky as you who desires your company like you do theirs?

Check out The Selby for so much more!

Why I blog...

2009-02-02T13:20:00.007-05:00

I just got done reading Guy Kawasaki's brilliant essay on The Art of Blogging. He talks about how reluctant he was to start blogging (as a business tool even) because he felt like it was, well, self-indulgent. This despite the fact that he is Stanford and UCLA educated with stints at Apple and now a feature writer and popular consultant (who I am proud to say follows me on Twitter). So, if HE feared feeling self-indulgent, imagine how I feel. But he pointed out various reasons you might blog, including simply as a form of self-expression, and said that even if your dog was your only reader it was a worthwhile venture.

I have a stats counter and I know approximately where my readers are and how many times someone looks at the blog. But I really don't do it frequently which tells me I'm doing it for me and not the readership. Darren Rowse, of Problogger.com, says I should have a "blog strategy" and I know this is true. But I don't want to.

Why do I blog then?

It is a form of self-expression, both visually and literally.

I love sharing information and little tidbits of goodies I find lying around the Internet.

I refer back to it for links and information I want to save.

I do it, sometimes, to get attention. This is clearly not working ;-).

I do it to work through ideas.

I like it the graphic design elements in it.

I like cheerleading good works or booing bad works.

I'm too lazy to keep a handwritten diary.

But mostly...

I do it, now, after a few years because I can't not do it. I have to blog. I blog, therefore I am? Readers? No readers? Turns out I do it because I love it and for no other real reason. And, at the point that happened, I think I became a real writer (which I must be because I get paid to do it now, typos and all).

Who knows? If you blog and no one reads it, did you really blog at all?

The monk and the finch by MBG

2009-01-30T10:20:00.001-05:00

The monk and the finch by MBG
Originally uploaded by mizkcreations

Oy! Winter! This round of snow was a hard one and I was ill prepared. I've learned several valuable lessons on self-sufficiency: buy boots, park at the front of the driveway-not 20 feet back, keep cash on hand to pay kids who offer to shovel, keep the shovel inside (not out), when snow is predicted do not keep your ice scraper in the car (as well as your gloves and heaviest coat). Sigh.

However, it was an exceptionally beautiful snow with lots of ice and Marie managed to catch this fantastic shot of my monk and a happy yellow finch, gorging on sunflower seed. He's been on loan to her but now that I have my own yard again, he's coming back this spring.

I hope everyone is safe and dry. Aside from working hard, I have nothing new to report except I am happy (if stressed)!

Must read for anyone "suffering from depression"!

2009-01-14T09:44:00.000-05:00

I have a love/hate affair with Tim Ferriss...but mostly I love him. M sent me this post and I had to share it. Though there are certainly biological components to depression, I know, first hand, that much of it is behavioral. This post is kind and thought-provoking.

Cobwebs

2009-01-13T11:52:00.002-05:00

I cannot shake the cobwebs off myself today. I am attempting to ignore and push them away but I am sad and I keep pondering why, ignorning the most obvious answer. A man I loved deeply and for many years is dying. With his death goes the hope that something might be healed, that a new place for me in his world (and in mine, for him) could be made. It seems to make no difference that it has been many years since I saw him, because I look in his face and at his hands every time I see our son. I have made it clear that I am here if he needs me.

Odd. To be losing someone so close to you for so many years and you have no role at this point in their life. You know they are suffering and you cannot comfort-you do not want to upset at such a difficult time. Yes, you pray but you want to offer more...something, anything. You cannot, unless invited to do so. You wait, hating that you are, knowing you will have to be there to care for the only one who will let you when it is all done. And you wonder...are you grieving? Can you grieve? Should you be allowed when you broke his heart and made poor and reckless decisions? I guess it doesn't matter. I'm grieving any way. The heart understands no rules.

He is a good and kind man. He may not have been a strong man, but he is good. I will have memories forever of books read and love made and laughter and, of course, I will have part of him always-as I always have.

Long live the rice sock!

2009-01-07T14:37:00.003-05:00

I thought this email from M was funny:

"I'm still trying to get out the door, but currently with my feet wrapped up in the rice sock so I can at least get them warm before leaving. They are COLD. Long live the RICE SOCK!"

I gave her her first rice sock this week and she is clearly an addict. As am I. So for those who are not in the know:

One large tube sock (I use the kind good for sock monkeys but it isn't necessary).
One empty toilet paper or paper towel roll (used as a funnel).
One bag plain rice.

Fill the sock about 2/3-3/4 of the way full and leave enough room to tie a secure knot around it. My original was a gift and had lavendar in it. I don't mind the smell of warm, dry rice but if you do you can add something to scent it.

Heat in microwave for no less than 3 minutes. Put at foot of bed under covers and it will keep your feet warm all night. Use for tummy pains, aching shoulders, sore back or to cuddle with when lonely. Ryan has one. Christi and I gave them as gifts one year. Indispensable and dirt cheap.

Also I wrote a readable post here.

Christmas 1966

2008-12-24T11:25:00.001-05:00

Christmas Kelly 2 1966
Originally uploaded by mizkcreations

I am part bear. Winter calls me
to hibernate, to sleep away her gloom and cold,
buried under the quilt
my father made by hand.
...but I am still the small child who
cannot resist the chance of snow
or birds fluffed at the feeders
and I rouse myself early (too early)
with coffee and quiet
and the cat tangling around my feet.
I'll join fellow travelers in awhile,
crowded and anxious,
as almost all, miraculously, make it safe
to our destinations.
It is Christmas. It may not be what I had planned,
but I am loved and I am safe
and the quiet snow will fall again
as I doze peacefully and dream.

These are the people in my neighborhood...

2008-12-22T12:02:00.003-05:00

...in my neighborhood, in my neighborhood. Oh, these are the people in my neighborhood...

According to Wikipedia, Price Hill is one of the oldest settled areas in Cincinnati where the wealthy settled to avoid pollution and crowds of the city itself. There are some amazing homes, most in disrepair, around my neighborhood. Much to know about this area.

Ruth is 85. She's lived in her house for something like 30 years. She lost her husband and her son this year and here's what she told me: "So four days before my 85th birthday I went to the doctor, you know, I've been seeing him a really long time. I said "now look. I'm about to buy a hard-top convertible and I need to know how my health is. I want the truth and if you don't give it to me, well, I'll punch ya!". She has the spiffy convertible and is a grande dame if there ever was one. When she introduced herself she said, "I"m Ruth, like pious Ruth, except for these..." as she wiggled "horns" on the top of her head. She also said not to worry about being neatened up when I come to visit because a lot of the time she looks like Sadie Shlockenheimer...! I'm anxious to go spend some time really getting to know her.

Next door is Eddie. He spent most of his years as a tavern owner in Mt. Adams but suffered a head injury that left him a little "not right". He lives next door with his son, Eddie and his grandson, Eddie (you can't make this stuff up). Eddie is always working on something...but I'm not telling which Eddie that is.

Hope to get some photos come spring. It is freaking miserable outside, more Christmas shopping tonight and tres' busy at work.

Wishing you peace and happiness....

Lovely snowfall

2008-12-16T12:21:00.006-05:00

Hello all! I'm sitting here on a recruiting break (SO BUSY) watching huge snowflakes drift down and thought I'd send a shout out

I'm finally settled into my new place. It is lovely though taking some getting used to with 3 floors and all (and one bathroom on the highest level!). I purchased my "new to me" sofa this week...gorgeous. Once pictures are hung and new rug/ottoman arrive, I'll take photos and put on flickr. I'm hard at work on "the business" in addition to my day job, currently doing quite a bit of editing for others and wondering when I'll get a chance to work on my own book?

Anyway, I've been enjoying season 2 of Boston Legal and have decided that if I could find a wo(man) like James Spader (slightly broken and somewhat unattainable but with a HUGE heart, large vocabulary and fiery loins) I'd be in heaven. I just finished a few great books: by Juno-screenwriter Diablo Cody was a hoot. I'm reading Split: A Memoir of Divorce (if you've never been dumped and wonder what it's like, this book is the best summation ever...with some wicked wit tossed in), finished . I still can't shake A Whole New Mind out of my own and I started reading at Borders and will have to do it next. Oy. I've not turned on cable yet (week 3) which has proven to be very hard (no Oprah, no Grey's Anatomy, no Celebrity Rehab, no Pickup Artist?!?!) but clearly I'm getting reading done. I hope to start "arting" again which I haven't done in a year.

My little white tree is decorated with my vintage Shiny Brite ornaments. I wonder if Angela remembers the year I accidentally won all of my ebay bidding and box after box of Shiny Brite's started showing up at the door? HA! I'm not sorry now, but I was slightly horrified then. Some of the ornaments go for $15 and more each now and they are sooooo beautiful.

My shopping is nearly done. I hope yours is too! Nothing new to report just yet.

What's on my mind...

2008-11-25T10:51:00.003-05:00

So many things! The dervish is certainly whirling today. I'm very blessed this holiday season with good friends, a new home, a good job, wonderful family, my health and so much more. A shout out to Tracey and Cara who are buying a new (spacious) home for themselves and their herd.

I'm reading A Whole New Mind by Dan Pink. If you've ever thought, for a moment, that you were born in the wrong time or place, this is the book for you. Intriguing look at home we've moved from the Industrial Age to the Information Age and are now moving to the Conceptual Age where skills like storytelling, design and empathy will rule over left-brain skills like analytics. Not just great info but also fun to read with exercises on how to grow some of these skills!

I've fallen in love with a spin-off of the goth fashion culture: steampunk.

I've seen it before but it's a bit like Burning Man meets Road Warrior. Rugged but sexy. There are now steampunk conventions and you do see a lot of this in Burning Man photography. Goggles seem to be the key to steampunk attire, along with a Victorian/sci-fi mix. Love it! What will we little humans come up with next? One of the beautiful things about all of this is how free we all are to express our geeky uniqueness. There's a book in there but I'm too busy working on the other two (ok, VERY hit and miss) and client projects to write it yet. I feel like I REALLY just need to take a week off to learn to improve my writing...

I'm heading to Austin in March with M for SXSW (South by Southwest)...we're doing the interactive piece of the very long festival/convention that includes film and music. I'm soooo excited. No one I would rather go with, either, since she is one of the few people I can talk to passionately about all this "online stuff". Many of my current personal idols will be there. You can read more about it on the business blog. Plus I am so pumped to be getting to Austin finally.

No new tv, film or music right now. TV sucks this year, I think, though The L Word is coming up after the first of the year...but only 8 episodes. I'm heading into DVD land to check Sports Night, all of Boston Legal and a few other things.

Hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving!

Ending self-sabotage

2008-11-12T11:44:00.003-05:00

Vertical limit...
Originally uploaded by gardawind

Climbing high can be challenging. Look what this beetle that flickr's gardawind caputured is going through! A lot of times I sabotage myself by thinking "not smart enough, not cool enough, not disciplined enough, not worthy enough". How can I stop this? One of my top fave bloggers, Jeannette Maw (GoodVibe Coach), wrote an article answering this question in her current e-zine!

3 Ways to Shift Self-Sabotage:

1. Needing It

The energy of "need" holds up the show, so the best way to get what you want is to not need it. For real. It's easier to release the need than you might think. Different things work for different folks, so experiment with how you best return to your "all is well now" easy, lighthearted mindset. I remind myself "everything's working out perfectly" or refocus on what really matters: my dogs, my freedom to choose, this cup of ginger tea - whatever helps me disengage from the "grasping" vibration of need.

If I really think I NEED this person to approve of me, or NEED the money to pay that bill or NEED my loved one to be well, I rethink it. There's a different thought that feels better and helps me drop the "charge" that needy energy introduces. As long as I think I need something to happen in order to feel better, I hold the very thing I want at bay.

Feeling good now - rather than needing something else to get there - lets your desire manifest swiftly!

2. Big Deal Thinking

When you believe something is rare, improbable, or difficult, it can't be anything BUT that. Your thought MAKES it so. That thinking slows up the whole process!

Stop the self sabotage by remembering that everything's easy to the Universe. What's one person's big deal is another person's no problem. I can get a date on a dime, but relax in front of a big audience? Holy hannah. Good trick! As I think it's tricky, so it is.

To stop this sabotage, get someone in mind who thinks your manifestation is simple and start thinking like he or she does. Does Oprah worry about the next mortgage payment? I suspect not. Does Donald worry whether someone will like him?

Think like someone who has mastered your manifestation. You can think like that, too! All it takes is practice.

3. Believing It Hasn't Happened

As you notice something isn't working or hasn't happened, you reinforce that reality. That's what you Don't Want. Don't go there. Train yourself to a line of thinking that allows for possibility - that lets something happen! In our session clients get to point out once what's real. After that, if it isn't what they want, they get redirected -because our words are that important!

I can't say one thing and expect another to happen. It just doesn't work that way! You've got to stop noticing what is and start imagining or looking for what you want. Yes, that requires a skillful detachment from reality. That's where your power lies. Use it! (It's way more fun than sticking to reality, anyway.)

This article gives you a prime opportunity to practice the shift. Once you recognize a habit that isn't serving you, stop focusing on that negative and intend it's changing already.

Start seeing where you DO have a light and easy attitude about a desire; congratulate yourself when you're naturally spending time with the vision rather than what's "real."

This whole deliberate creation thing is way easier than it's sometimes made out to be!

Fascinating and funny...

2008-11-11T15:33:00.001-05:00

FascinatingFunny

Why I'm happy to be going...

2008-11-10T17:16:00.001-05:00

Street shot of new house in Price Hill
Originally uploaded by mizkcreations

Man. The luck. I got that 30 day notice and had secured this house later that evening. To be truthful, I'd been browsing and seen it on craigslist, but didn't expect it to be absolutely spotless and perfect. The owners, who live 3 blocks away, are my age, granola crunchy-a librarian and artist/artist assistant (who is currently repairing some of Buckminster Fuller's sculptures). They have been awesome to me! Reduced first months rent, got me a new trowel because I love to garden.

I told myself in 2009 I would have a house. The Universe just provided early.

Great Mexican food down the street and all the shopping I need! I could not possibly be happier.

Why I'm sad to leave...

2008-11-10T17:02:00.001-05:00

Buck 5
Originally uploaded by mizkcreations

My landlord gave me a 30 day notice on 11/1 because our buildings are being sold for condos. My back deck and the fireplace are the only things I love about this apartment (oh, the neighborhood is swank). Mr. Buck showed up towards the end of October, 10 feet away from my back door. I could have stood there and looked at him for hours...he didn't seem nervous a bit until I opened my door to get the camera.

This and the screech owl moment with Marie remain two of my happiest wildlife moments ever...

message for obama

2008-11-07T10:46:00.002-05:00

Need I say more?

See photo here

What a difference a day makes...

2008-11-05T15:34:00.004-05:00

It's been incredibly hard not to feel cynical as a die-hard liberal. Just the site of GWB's smirk on tv has been enough for my lightning fast reach to the remote to get him off of there. I silently looked down on the American flag, patriotism, etc. after he was re-elected. I simply could not believe the majority of citizens wanted him for four more. I wasn't even sure I would vote this time.

Luckily I faced no lines in my all-white neighborhood (soon to change BTW) and I bailed on an HRC party. I was prepared for the tragic disappointment of thinking Gore was elected when he was not (or maybe he was, who knows?). I could not get that drum beat in my heart to dance happy over this election. I was steeled for something to go very wrong.

But as the numbers improved last night and the crowd grew in Grant Park and that sea of faces was SO freakin' diverse...I felt a constant stream of tears. Kids who had waited 12 hours to be up front, white teenagers, old African American ladies, Asian gay boys, all represented and clearly EXCITED ABOUT A PRESIDENT. It didn't feel possible. And as Barack accepted with a stoic face (that clearly understood the weight of the moment in his own life as well as history) and that clear ringing voice, I finally understood what it meant to feel proud of this country. I really did. And I really only had for a brief time after 9/11...which Katrina tore away.

We'll see what he can do. Here's what I KNOW FOR SURE. He simply cannot embarrass us more than has already been done. Not possible.

I voted...

2008-11-04T11:21:00.001-05:00

we voted
Originally uploaded by jek in the box

Which isn't entirely true, but I loved this photo so much from Jek that I had to put it up.

I vote this afternoon at 4pm. I have a charged iPod to help me deal with the insanity that boredom brings. I wish I had my freakin' camera (do they let cameras into polling places).

I've had quite the education on the voting process and law from Jen. I feel quite ignorant.

Anyway, happy day! Soon...a new home. I'll share when I know more.

Happy Halloween: Goth Potter

2008-10-31T10:33:00.001-05:00

Love this photo!

TWO POSTS, one day? Will wonders ever cease...

2008-10-27T12:18:00.002-05:00

Please take a break from whatever you are doing and read this VERY FUNNY post from the blog Stuff White People Like. Thank you to my new pal Michelle at work for making me bust a gut!

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/08/18/107-self-aware-hip-hop-references/