Another Manifestation Story

Have I mentioned that I work in a small city ER? I don't do patient care, though I am involved. I work 2-12 hour shifts and (though I hate to put this energy out there), I hate it. 12 hours is LONG even if it is just 2 days (45 min drive each way also), hospitals are a pit of negativity (the worst I've ever encountered), I sit for a very long time, there are a lot of distracting noises and I don't have squat in common with most of my co-workers. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

So, the other day I sat outside in the wee hours with my cup of coffee (I have some immunity to the cold) and decided that, JUST AS AN EXPERIMENT, I was going to intend to have a great day: my favorite laid back doc would be working, we'd be steady but not overwhelmed, I'd enjoy my co-workers, the "machine that goes ping" would not bother me and that it would be one of my best work days ever.

I SWORE THAT I WOULD NOT LET CYNICISM ENTER MY MIND. I had the thought and then I just refused to think about work any more.

It wasn't until about 10am on that day that I realized I felt rested, good even. My favorite doc (who I hadn't worked with in weeks) was coming in for part of my shift, at about 2pm we'd died down to just a few patients and everyone seemed to be getting along. I even agreed to pick up 4 extra hours (making it a 16 hour shift!) that evening, which I rarely do.

Most interestingly, I got into a series of really great conversations with the few "cool kids" (30-somethings, tattooed, not conservative, hip) who I rarely work with and who were ALL working that evening together. Conversations about music and politics and sexuality that went on for most of the evening, resulted in a request to Facebook friend each other and ended in a hug at the end of my shift...

I mean, come on. I had never had a better day at work. 

We were so slow I didn't have to stay over long, just an hour. I had time to go get my iPhone at the AT&T store...the phone where they run a credit check and, if you fail, you get charged up to $1200 deposit. A series of unfortunate events have cooked my credit thoroughly (big shopping and trips not among them) and I had been sad for days after realizing I would likely not be able to get said dream phone that was to be my Christmas gift from Dad.

Credit check? Yes. But no deposit, no hassle. Hot little phone in my hand in 15 minutes.

Why not try it? I dare you...! Then report back here.

(photo above taken with new iPhone using the ShakeItPhoto! app)

What I Learned This Year...

I'm resting and cuddling with kitties before packing the rest of my gifts to head to Bowling Green to spend time with the family. I'm filled with some joy, some longing and of course, this time of year leads to reflection of all sorts. It was a pivotal year. I don't say that lightly. It took 2008 and expanded on it. I am confident 2010 is going to be something completely unexpected in the best of ways. So, what learnings have come my way that I want to share?

I learned, again, that love is complicated and that the best thing you can do for it is to give it room to breathe. I will have to continue learning this as I'm a whirling dervish in that arena as well, but I am definitely growing.

I learned that life has way more opportunity for you than your little pea brain can imagine and that if you continue to say "yes!", focus on kindness and giving and quality, good things will arrive that will surprise the hell out of you.

I learned once, and for all, that I suck at housekeeping AND, unfortunately, that my joy is significantly impacted by having a clean house. 2010 will see the dawning of a housekeeper for part of the time.

I learned that I do have an addiction and that is sleep. It is not healthy. I want it too much. It does everything that any other addiction does. This year I want to get out more and experience many of the things I've put on hold for so long now.

I learned, finally, that the misery I find in traditional work does not make me a failure, that I should have pursued harder the many dreams I had for years of working for myself. I'm different, but not flawed. The more I stepped towards that dream, the more the universe has said "yes".

I've learned I am deeply loved and deeply loving. When I move past the addiction of sleep, there are so many lovely people waiting to greet me as friends. I care for them deeply in my heart but I have to show up and do the work of being a friend.

Finally, I learned that I'm not defined by my past, that truly awful choices made on my part do not mean I'm not worthy of a lovely, healthy life filled with the kind of heart-bursting gratitude I once had. I'm ready to reclaim what we all deserve: contentment.

I wish you all incredibly happy holidays where we let go of the pettiness and discomfort and embrace the love. See you in 2010!

Photo via Creative Commons license by Eddi.

Top 9 of 2009 from The Business Blog

Don't you love the year end wrap up posts? If I was off, I'd sit down with a big plate of candy or something and just poke around at all of these "best of" lists. In the year end spirit, here are my most read blogs of 2009:

For Information:
Naomi Dunford's IttyBiz
Lisa's YouTube Channel
Scott Stratten's Un-marketing

For Inspiration:
Chris Guillebeau's The Art of Non-conformity
Danielle LaPorte's White Hot Truth
Kelly Diels' Cleavage

For Joy Juice:
Cute Overload
The Bloggess
My Milk Toof (see photo above)

Thanks to all of the dreamers, writers, artists, take no prisoner fire starters, snort milk out my nose, make me trickle tears of sentimentality online creators who entertained, informed or lit me up me this year.

Look out 2010!

Check out my clients' blogs/sites as well. Thanks to their support, this was my best year yet!
The Virtual Legal Assistant
Ratio7
My Small Business Mentor
Raw Foodini
Renegade CEO's
Boomerang Presentations
InVision Projects

Adding to My NYC Itinerary...

Burn the Floor! Yeah, baby!

Just because...

3-NO! 4 Reasons to Be VERY VERY Happy!

3 4 FABULOUS writers and ladies, Anne Lamott, Elizabeth Gilbert, Barbara Kingsolver and Gretchen Rubin all have books available for pre-order on Amazon.com!

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the life changing Eat, Pray, Love (what woman HASN'T read this book? Why? You can buy it used for 1 penny!) has a new book being released called Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage. I'm anxious to read and share it. If you know a commitment phobe, perhaps this is the book for them?

Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies, Plan B and many more has a new novel coming out, Imperfect Birds (is this a play on her seminal book on writing "Bird by Bird"? I don't know).

One author review says of Lamott's new book "Heartbreaking and delightful, moving and hopeful, Imperfect Birds reminds us how our children are connected to and independent of us, and that no matter how difficult our struggle is with them, love underlies it all and saves us. This novel captures the deepest, purest, most terrifying experience of parents fearing for their children. With great insight and humor, Anne Lamott shows us what it means these dangerous days to be a parent, what it means to be a child, and what it means to be a family."
-David Sheff, author of Beautiful Boy

Oy vey! Must read!

Amazon just recommended Barbara Kingsolver's new novel which I didn't know was out (I SUCK) and that is about the Kahlo/Trotsky household. Good lord! I can't believe I missed news of this. Lacuna was released November 3. Once I am done with Sea Glass (I will confess to being snobby over Anita Shreve AND enjoying this book) and The Dogs of Bedlam Farm I am on to that.

Finally, Gretchen Rubin, author of the fantastic blog The Happiness Project has a book by the same title. I'm all for bloggers turned published authors (well, she was already published before...but still). Gretchen spent a year trying to follow every piece of happiness advice she could find and shares the results. The subtitle of the book is  Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun.

Winter is fast approaching (M, my heroine, who after a fiasco with my bumped up green car drove me to work in disastrous weather!) so it is the perfect time to pre-order or pick up at the library, heat up your rice sock, put on flannel jammies and settle in to read with a cup of tea.

My Newest Venture

In 2010, I'll be building my problogging business for me and moving away from so much writing for others. As I've been working for myself these past 18 months, I realize what I love MOST and could do all day long is my own writing and blogging. To this end, I have a new niche site:


Living Alone After Divorce.

Not much going on there  (and surprisingly huge traffic-mostly from the Middle East??? Why? I know not.), but I hope to make it a site for those folks, like me, who were/are Bambi on ice when it comes to living alone for the first time.

Spread the word as appropriate!

By the way, reading a Great Book! Generosity by Richard Powers. A novel about the discovery of the happiness gene.